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Help my fiances 9 year old daughter is ruining our relationship

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i am about to walk away from the best man i ever had because of her. she is the sneakiest most kniving child i have seen in my life. her dad sees no wrong in how she treats me though. she has no boundaries, she goes through my drawers, personal papers,(even had my s.s. #, for her sneaky mother i guess). her dad had got me some proactive face wash and she used it all up just to spite me, same thing with my bath and body works lotions. she gets into any of my things she wants to but if i say something to her father I'm being selfish. she will break rules when hes around just to see us fuss.