How much BS am I supposed to take
im at my effing breaking point
I have posted about BM problems on here in the past and you all have been so awesome
the thing is I haven't even dealt with SO child a whole lot
BM and SO do not have a CO in place at the moment and its such a shit show in which she manipulates degrades (you all know the shit these crazy people say) and his balls reside in her purse!!
I moved to a small town and met SO don't really know anyone else and BM has flapped her gums to people so now people think I am controlling my SO, which im not she is.
I feel so whiney but im just so annoyed I am an adult I don't need to deal with this childish BS!
and I know this isn't even the beginning the real bs will start when/if I start being around SO kid more who says they hate me! although BM swears the hating me never came from her. okay BM psycho!!!
im at a point where im ready to disengage....from my spouse! on one side I feel like id be letting her win but on the other side I don't care if that's how she feels I don't want to deal with this shit forever. it just sucks because SO would be pretty much perfect if not for having no balls when it comes to BM and her crazy antics.
anyone been here before?
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Yes but the weird thing is
Yes but the weird thing is that you are describing my exhusband rather than my SO.
My exhusb is very codependent. Good guy, good dad but a pussy. Not kind to say but that's who he is. Thought I was marrying the "nice guy". Problem is that it disintegrated into him being another child for me to care for. He had no ambition or assertiveness and did what he was told. He couldnt think out of the box and everything was left up to me in terms of decision making and discipline. I wanted a partner and an equal not another child so we got divorced. He tucked his tail between his legs and crawled off to his mother and father once I asked. He got remarried about 2 years ago and his new wife became quickly aware that she married a wuss when she decided to take me on. I am not a nightmare BM I swear - she alienated his whole family, he wouldnt negotiate a peace and everything with his family blew up with my kids stuck in the middle. I stayed out of everything until the new SM INVITED me in. She didnt like that I wasnt a pushover like my exhusb and she started taking out her frustration at him on my kid esp my son. That's when i snapped. Anyway, that's exactly how my ex is. She blamed him for not standing up to me when what was stupid was that I hadnt done anything. But if I had? I wouldve had more respect for him if he had grown a set and taken me on.
You married a doormat, sweetie, I am sorry to say and I am quite familiar with this. Luckily my SO is strong and no nonsense with his dipshit exwife/BM of kids although he does have his moments.
You need to have a very serious talk with him and write down some boundaries that it is his responsibility to adhere to for your sake and the sake of the marriage. If BM doesnt want to cooperate, who gives a shit? Why does she have any power in YOUR marriage?
Disengage if it gets too much. It's hard and it's gutwrenching sometimes but it will save your sanity. I don't know how far you are in your emotions with your DH. I hope he doesnt inadvertantly contribute to it ending by giving the BM the power in your lives. Marriage is for TWO not THREE.