is why are you so suspicious of everything with future DH? Has he done something in the past that makes you wanna question every little thing? We all have that intuition and usually the intuition is right, but it seems at this rate he might not want to marry you with all of these suspicions?
Just asking?

"And this too shall pass..."

Well on that note then you need to follow that little voice in your head!
Too many coincidences with him and the BM recently! Where there is smoke there is fire!

"And this too shall pass..."

Given that you have trust issues (with good reason) and he knows you have trust issues, he should be aware of the effect of hiding things from you. He has NO business confiding in BM or using her for emotional support. They are not friends. Their only relationship should be about co-parenting. I'd say you're justified in being upset and I'd talk to him about it, calmly, at once before this crap goes any further.

Your FH will feel like he has to justify anything to you so he will just nnot bother to bring it up to avoid the irritation. In many cases they arent a big deal, but he feels perhaps you are making big deals out of them and he wants to avoid an argument.

This will be seen as a clear lack of trust in him. He may not have done anything to deserve the mistrust, but your carrying your baggage.

If you cant trust him completely you are a fool to get married. You can disagree with how he handles some things with BM, and you will, but you have to give him the trust and respect of someone who you want to call your husband.

Get one of those gps tracker devices and find out what the story is. Remember BM can put any king of slant that she wants on the story. He isn't your husband and that will make it easier to do what you need to do if you find out that you need to do it.

I'm feeling the way you are too. The good thing is neither of us are married to these men yet. I know it's really difficult to do, but try to let some things go. At times, you won't be able to and that's ok. But what matters is if you try. That's what I'm trying to do right now. Sure, I still freak out but what's important is that I am trying to trust.

I am not a religous person, but I am spiritual. I am trying to pray more, taking my insecurites to God rather than my FH. Praying on what I'm insecure about, what I don't like about about FH & BM situation, praying that things will work out in my favor, and also praying merely about the fact that I am insecure. We can't always take it to our FH's because often they don't understand. We can explain to them how we feel and pray that at some point things will change. We can't worry worry and worry some more over things we have no control over. It's really hard and something I struggle with everyday.

The truth is, our FH's are going to do what makes them happy. When we argue constantly this only pushes them further away and soon they will start to disengage, just as many of us on here have learned to disengage from the skids situation.

I did sit FH down and explain to him that I do have trust issues. I told him that I really needed his help and I needed him to be sensitive to that. I told him that was just who I was, and that I felt for us to be together he had to have an understanding about that and accept that. He said that it was o.k. The reason why I told him that is because he lied about something very, very small, I can't remember what it was but it was something stupid like he said he took the garbage out when he didn't?????

I told him that, yes, it was something small but I WILL NEVER be able to trust him, because of my trust issues, if he lies even about something very small and stupid. I told him 3 strikes, and then I have to walk, because of MY trust issues. 3 strikes, because everyone messes up and makes mistakes, but anymore is what I, and only I, consider unhealthy for me to be around. I need someone who is 100% honest with me.

Your kidding...trash got a strike?

Kaff, I went through something very similar with DH before we were married. I say listen to your gut. In my case DH and I split up for a month so he could "find himself", really he just had some crazy notalgic idea that he could still fix his family (it was more for the kids then the BM) even though they had tried for 5 years and could never make it work. I had suspected something the last few months of our relationship, but didn't find any of that out until we had been split up for a month and he came running back. He had realized what he wanted and had time to figure it out on his own. We were lucky, it doesn't always work out like that, but I still say your insticts are almost always right and FH should respect your feelings.

If I knew 9 years ago what I know now, I would turn and RUN RUN RUN from any man with children that presented even the slighest questionable behavior. It's not worth it.