"And this too shall pass..."

I would rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I am not.

everyone in the house to carry their load. Personally, I would not say another word about it, I would just throw the bottles and sippy cups away. I would then let fh know that he can either purchase new ones, and start opening them when requested to, or they will be thrown away agian and agian. If he doesnt mind the expense, then problem solved.

Throw then in the trash and tell him he needs to buy new ones before SS comes to visit.

I swear I am the only person that lives at our house and I know at one point we had 2 adults and 5 children! However, I am the only who knows where anything is or how anything is done. So, I hear ya.

Things that have worked for me in the past:

1) I do all the vacuuming because I like to vacuum. I give a 5 minute warning. If there is ANYTHING on the floor that will impede my path I will throw it out. After the warning if there is still stuff..."Oh! I just moved it out of the way so it didn't ruin my new Dyson. You might want to look in the trash. Sorry."

2) If something is not in a place of honor or treasured, I assume it's trash and that's how I will treat it too. Turd Blossom is mysteriously missing a pair of earrings. Hummm I wonder what could have happened to them? I have issues with this kid and her ears, a story for another day. "Oh really? It was on the floor. It didn't look important. You might want to look in the trash. Sorry."

3) If something is impossible to deal with (bottles or cups) I will throw them in the trash, buy new and show DH the receipt. He is worried about money so this works. "Sorry I had to buy new, but..."

4) I used ask that the SK's clean their own bathroom. They did a horrible job! So, I would have DH go in and clean it again. Now I just tell DH something needs to be done and he needs to figure out how it gets done. I don't care if he does it or delegates it as long as it gets done and done right. "Sorry, but they left hair on the floor, toothpaste in the sink and pee on the seat! You are their parent and I am not supposed to train them. If you can't teach them, I guess you will have to take on the burden yourself. (Followed by a very sympathetic) Sorry "

Trust me if you play, what I like to call, "cute and stupid" it works like a charm! You can't use anger in any of these situations or it will seem like you are trying to pick a fight or you are just overreacting. I had to go a long way around the block and come at it 6 different directions before I figured it out. OH PS: Sorry in every sentence = Sorry YOU haven't figured it out.

My house still looks like an internal tornado hit, but when something someone else does or doesn't do irritates me...I have set it up so if I take action I won't get the wrath.

It's just what worked for me. Good luck

smack FH in the damned head for talking to you like that. WTF is that about??!! Our deal is,"I cook...DH cleans up." If you wash those bottles you are setting the stage to make yourself a doormat forever.

"We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.”

First thing I'd do is throw out the bottles! At 2 he's more than old enough to be using a sippy cup, and moving towards a regular no-lid cup. JMO...

I do the majority of the cooking, and the dishes. The trade off with DH for the dishes is that he vacuums, I hate vacuuming... However, my DH and your's have the same over-tightening problem. DH over-tightens his go-cups constantly. We had a stand off a couple of weeks ago, I did the same thing as you, and let them pile up for a few days. When he asked about it, I told him that I was tired of fighting with the lids, and from now on if he didn't take the lids off when he put them at the sink, they would not get washed. Haven't had that problem since.

join the club. no one in my house cleans up either.

Tape them to his chest with duct tape }:)

getting people to help clean in my house is like pulling teeth. Or if SD's do help, they do it half ass and I end up having to either fuss about it or just re-do it quickly so it is done.

DH's idea of helping clean is to shred old papers (bills, CC solicitations, etc). While necessary, it really doesn't help me too much when people are coming over and there is folded laundry all over the living room and sand all over the floor (a downfall to living at the beach).

I took the path of Wicked. If it's on the floor and in my way, in the trash it goes. I don't care what it is. I give warning and then vacuum away.

~ Formerly ToTheEdge. I have stepped down from the ledge.

Read my post again. I understand the wrath. If you find a way that it looks like an accident, it works and you will get the result you want. It sounds like a few others have done it too.

Another thing that works for me is what Love & Logic calls an energy drain. Anyone heard of it? You say "My energy is so drained by....you fill in the blank...your actions or by having to pick up after everyone or by trying to open bottles, that I just don't have the energy to...again you fill in the blank...to DH have sex with you or to the kids, play blah blah blah.

My son, 4 years old, had a fit on the playground one day. Total humiliation for me and a complete energy drain. I didn't speak all the way home. He was still demanding this that and the other when we walked in the door. I told him (in a very calm voice) that his behavior had drained my energy and that I was so tired that I couldn't possibly help him...turn on cartoons, make him a snack, play games. I laid my lazy butt on the couch and watched Oprah until Daddy came home to rescue both of us. The next day I told him that if he did not drain my energy after preschool that I would take him for a bike ride. He followed through and so did I. He has not been ill behaved in public since! LOL All I have to do is say "Oh wow! You are really draining my energy."

With energy drains I have:
Come home to a clean house.
Had laundry washed, folded and put away.
Well beahved little kids.

It's amazing and powerful. I wouldn't pull it out all the time. Just when you really need it.

OK, before anybody gets the wrong idea...

That's not really the way it works. You have to make the change be the other persons idea.

Here is how an energy drain works:
1) Let people know how you feel..."I'm drained."

2) Tell them why you feel that way..."If I didn't have to do all the dishes I might have more energy to go for a walk with you in the evening."

3)How they can fix it..."It might put back some of my energy if someone were to help me do the dishes one night a week."

Although tempting, I can't condone leaving dishes around like land mines.

Leave them there until he does them - he is counting on you to cave. If it gets on your nerves too bad, give him 24 hour notice they will be thrown away.

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

when he's lying on the couch and say PLEASE OPEN THIS - I cannot!!! and stand there while he opens each one? And then throw them in the dishwasher? or in the sink opened? This reminds me of the Everybody Loves Raymond episode about the suitcase on the stairs! (Not to make too light of the situation!) Anyway, there's bigger things to argue about than this... The sippy cups are the symptom of the real problem. Take them to him and have them open them and then wash them. And then, start dividing up the chores. And the Wicked2Three way sounds like a good idea in this situation!!

That episode of Everybody Loves Raymond was one of my absolute favorites. Makes me smile just thinking about it. As a matter of fact I think they were all good.

As far as stuff left out or laying around by kids......... pile it all on their bed(s). They will clean it up.

Regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi