Welp... BM responded
"We have plans to go out of town that weekend."
That is all. No mention of the conferences, no mention of football games. BUT SUUUURRREEE they have plans to go out of town as soon as DH will arrive in state with 4 weeks notice. Yup... I totally believe it.
- justmakingthebest's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
An obvious dodge. How
An obvious dodge. How sickening. Is there some way that your DH can visit again at a different time? Then if she makes another excuse it will start to show a pattern for you to use in court.
I mean, yes, but no. His
I mean, yes, but no. His flight alone this time is $538 and rental car adds another $240. He also has to have approved leave time and with his position, that isn't very often if he wants more than a 3 day weekend. It is just a lot of financial burden on us all the way around.
Oh, that's a shame. You could
Oh, that's a shame. You could do a 'scam' plan to visit then if she does say yes then you will have to find a way to say it has to be called off but .... depends if she tells the child. Wouldn't want to mess with his feelings etc.
I hate it when BM's get away with this cr*p.
Didn't you say
Didn't you say that your DH was going to be there for the week? Can he reply "Not a problem. Remember that the order says that I can see him when I am in the state but I anticipated that there might be some difficulty even with advanced notice. Therefore I made sure that I could be as flexible as needed. I will be there during the week as well and will be available to see him after school. Since you will only be out of town on the weekend that should not be an issue. What day would be most convenient for you? And if your out of town plans change, even at the last minute, please be sure to let me know." Then you will have her "caught" if she refuses to respond or responds with lies about availability when your DH shows up at the parent/teacher conference and football game and, of course, takes pictures.
This is a good approach.
This is a good approach. Surely she is not taking him out of school that week?
The order doesn't state that.
The order doesn't state that. All that we have currently is Spring Break. The end. BM and her attorney still haven't signed the 3.5 weeks over summer yet. Even though the judge ruled it, it still has to be a signed journal entry by both attorney's. Got to love po-dunk Kansas.
She said under oath on the stand that she would never deny DH visits with SS when he comes to the state and that his how all of the visitation should be exercised. DH going 1300 miles, using all his leave (he only gets 30 days a year), not visiting with his brother, who lives with us, and not visiting his family through me.
He did email her back and say that he would be happy to keep him during the week and provide transportation to and from school. He also asked if SS could skip the out of town trip since this is a family wedding that he would be attending and that DH's time is very limited with his son, since we are 1300 miles away.
She agreed to it
She agreed to it on the stand but it was not put in the order??? That was a clear oversight. It would be in the transcript. If the order still is not final since BM and her attorney have not signed off on it, there is no reason that your attorney not request an inclusion of a provision that access not be denied when your DH is in the state. It is a pretty common provision for parents who live in different states.
All that was "ordered" was
All that was "ordered" was that DH would get 3.5 weeks in the summer. I agree that is should be part of the order. However with this BM and this judge it would be unlikely to happen.
Our best case is getting the transcript where she stated that he would be welcome to have parenting time when he was in the state and then showing she denied it and using that as our change of circumstance.
I thought he was going to
I thought he was going to already be out there for another reason? Now it sounds like visiting SS was the only reason. If that is the case.. maybe asking what week would work since SS is not available that week.. your DH can shift plans if he didn't already have another reason to go.
He is going out for a family
He is going out for a family wedding but staying a week to see SS.
He wanted to take SS to the wedding- there will be lots of kids. Then spend the weekend and as much of his time during the week with him as possible.
Ah.. Ok.. then really.. he is
Ah.. Ok.. then really.. he is not going out of his way to pay for flights and rental cars... just because he thought he could see SS.
It sucks that he and the ex can't be more civil (I understand that it's the ex being non-civil) and work together so he could see his family.
He wouldn't have gone if it
He wouldn't have gone if it wasn't for SS. When we looked on the school calendar and saw that there was parent teacher conferences as well as a football game he figured that it would be worth while to go. The wedding is one day, if he was going for just the wedding he would just go for the weekend and not burn up a week of leave and pay the rental car.
IF I were him, I think I'd
IF I were him, I think I'd just turn up, unanounced, on her doorstep ...
I was thinking check the
I was thinking check the football schedule and show up unannouced to the football game. He's in full legal rights.
Not on her door step, that is
Not on her door step, that is too much drama
He is going to have lunch with SS everyday. He is going to parent teacher confrences. He is going to the game. - I got all that info from the school.
I'l very glad he's going to
I'l very glad he's going to get some time with SS every day. My suggestion was in case he wasn't ... sometimes a good dose of drama can clear the air.
So happy to read your husband
So happy to read your husband has found a way to circumvent BM's bull shit.
Have you or dh spoke directly to his sons guidance counselor AND principle with a heads UP dh is arriving just to make sure BM has not blocked him on school papers. BM's have a way of targeting school front desk women---they smell the out and before you know it they are pals who by shear coincidence (wrong bm sniffed her out) HATE their ex's and fathers of their kids, and front desk staff are BM's puppets. When bm is done using her puppets...poof they drop 'em.
I am sorry and I really DO understand how you feel.
Yes, she did remove Dh again
Yes, she did remove Dh again this year but the counselor is so helpful every year adding him back! The counselor is also the front desk receptionist (really small county and school. Whole k-12 is less than 250 students and that is for 4 towns).