Blog Hog- Sorry! Should I text BM?

I texted her at 9:50 asking if he made it on his flight. I texted a "?" at 10:26. It is now 11:42- I soooooo badly want to text again and say:

It is pretty sad that you are so petty and insecure you would rather no one know if SS is safe on a plane than just tell me "Yes" after you were already informed that "DH" would not be able to receive calls, texts or emails this morning. I called the airline so I am aware he is on- you need to grow up. I will do the decent thing and let you know when I pick him up from the airport this evening.

How much trouble would DH potentially get in if I did that if a judge were to see it? I can't see how there would be any fall out but I need a STalk reality check.

justmakingthebest's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

Don't do it. BM will show it

Don't do it. BM will show it in court as proof why SS doesn't want to visit. And to the therapist you won't know about until court -
That you guys are hateful to her and that's why SS doesn't like it there blah blah

Why would you expect her to be civil to you?

Reality check: don't do it. I

Reality check: don't do it. I get it, but it will only make yourself look bad in front of the courts and you guys have worked so hard fighting the system that I don't want you to set yourself up for more b.s.

nope do do it

it will give her ammunition plus it gives her the attention she is seeking.

I wouldn't. That's exactly

I wouldn't. That's exactly why she hasn't answered your other texts - to get a reaction from you. Let it go. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing she got to you.

Adding one more NO.

Adding one more NO. It would be satisfying for only a moment. Not worth it. It. No matter how true, it would come back to haunt you.

Ok... Ok... You guys are

Ok... Ok... You guys are right. I will not do it.

You could do it if you really

You could do it if you really wanted. I might leave the grow up part out of it and just say that you would have apprechiated some cooperation. Overall though I would just ignore her. She has no obligation to communicate with you, even if your husband requested it and it is the right thing to do. She will not change her ways because of a text.

Personally I would not pick ss up at the airport and would let his "man"-self get a taxi, public transport or call me when he arrives to request a ride and wait at the airport for me. If he can't be bothered to confirm that he is on his way he can deal with the consequences. But again, you have to take a judge into consideration and what your husband would want into consideration.

Bahahahaha!!!! It would be

Bahahahaha!!!! It would be fun to play that game wouldn't it!

Wait until he finally does call me and say sorry, I assumed you didn't get on a plane because neither you or your mother could follow simple instructions to keep me up to date. We are out right now, you should grab a taxi since you are a grown man and all.

Ahhhh... fun to imagine. BM would loose her shit for real!

I see no problem with waiting

I see no problem with waiting to head to the airport until he calls and says he's there. He's 15. He can wait for you to arrive.

Hmmmm.....

"I didn't want to drive all

"I didn't want to drive all the way there if you weren't on the plane."

I gotta veto this idea

No one there to pick him up is more gas on BMs flame. Be there on time, civil but cool.

She has no idea if he's on

She has no idea if he's on the plane. If BM wants him met at the other end, she can acknowledge that he got on the plane. He's 15, not 5.

It’s not about age

Why start the visit this way....I can see how this would play out, and while I agree it will feel good in the moment it will give BM more material to alienate. I can imagine the phone call won't be to Dad or Stepmom but to BM saying no one is here to pick me up. She'll have him on the next flight home.

It wasn't to punish BM - it

It wasn't to punish BM - it was natural consequences for SS for not letting them know he's on the flight.

And if BM did that, she'd be in jail for contempt. It's not a crime to not be there on the dot to pick up a teenager. Been there and done that with a BM like this - she will alienate with no material, so you can't walk around trying to give her nothing to alienate with. I'd like to see her bring that one to court. "Yes your honor, I did agree to a 4-hour layover, but waiting 30 minutes for a ride home was unacceptable."

Nope, don't give her the

Nope, don't give her the satisfaction of getting you riled up. Also, he's a grown ass man, he can text mommykins he arrived safely.

I wouldn't say a word to her. What a C U Next Tuesday she is.

I wouldn't send that text,

I wouldn't send that text, but if I were DH, I would be inclined to chew out SS for not texting and send a strongly-worded email to BM while CCing his attorney (and possibly hers) for not communicating that his minor son was or was not on the plane. I think having it officially documented is a good idea.

Also, I would NOT wait for him to call you before showing up to the airport. Sure, he CAN wait, but BM will twist you not being there as a reason why he didn't want to come because "no one cares about him when he arrives".

All of this. I'd be at the

All of this. I'd be at the airport for pickup when the plane arrives. He can then call you and you pick him up outside. If he doesn't call you within a reasonable time after the plane lands, then you start calling him.

I was able to email with DH

I was able to email with DH just now and he was furious that neither of them had communicated with me. He asked me to call SS and I did, we are working to change his flight to an earlier one now arriving at a different airport so he has a shorter layover. (His original flight had an hour layover and they canceled his connecting flight and he now has a 4 hr lay over).

I didn't say anything to him about his lack of communication. I will let DH deal with that tomorrow when he gets home. I am trying to just stay level and calm.

I do like the idea of DH emailing BM and BCC'ing his attorney about how it is unacceptable for her to refuse to communicate transportation.

In other words, he is on the

In other words, he is on the plane and at the connection location?

Yes, he is there and we

Yes, he is there and we couldn't get his flight changed. At least the resturants are open again and he can get something to eat and charge his phone.

Eh, BM's like this will twist

Eh, BM's like this will twist nothing into a reason he doesn't want to visit. To wit - the alcohol issue.

OOHH!! Alcohol. I still have

OOHH!! Alcohol. I still have to hide my Whiskey! It is on my counter LOL

You're welcome!

Adding to the pile of do NOT

Adding to the pile of do NOT send the text.

Be at the airport because you ARE better than BM. If you are not there, I would not be at all surprised if she immediately got SS the next flight back to her and played victim to the judge and demanded that your DH pay for the return airfare.

As much as I would love to

As much as I would love to play the game, it just isn't who I am. I didn't send the text but I did send a screenshot to our lawyer to let him know what was going on AGAIN and to pressure him for the hearing date for the contempt charges.

I will be there on time. SS is just a puppet for his mommy- I know this. He may be 15 but he is an immature 15.

This is the kid who still can't put in his own contacts for goodness sakes! He only responds all nasty to DH when BM is playing puppet master. I just need to breathe and let it go. BM has no power here!

You're a doll, JMTB. I'm

You're a doll, JMTB. I'm breathing with you.

Can't put in his own contacts? Guess he'll either learn, wear his glasses, or walk around in a blurry world.

Did you borrow part of that last line from Labryrinth?!

Wizard of Oz :) "You have

Wizard of Oz :) "You have no power here! Now begone, before someone drops a house on you!"

Ah, I was thinking of Sarah

Ah, I was thinking of Sarah in Labryrinth saying, "You have no power over me!" to the wonderful David Bowie.

I agree with everybody else,

I agree with everybody else, that's a negative Ghostrider, don't send the text. For all you know they both have you blocked on their phones and that's why none of them are responding.

I understand the absolute want to put that kid firmly in his place when he gets there and not be available until he has to call, BUT I think that is exactly they type of behavior BM is hoping will happen so she can tell the courts "I sent my son in good faith and his abusive alcoholic father wasn't even there to pick him up, he had to call the house looking for somebody and then his SM(said with withering disdain) made a huge deal out of having to come pick him up."

I really hope the visit goes well, take plenty of time to enjoy the beach and other things while he's there.