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how to protect skids from vile GBM

Just54321's picture

Submitted by Just54321 on Wed, 04/20/2016 - 2:56pm

So my last post was about BM having terminal cancer and skids coming to live with us full time when she dies (prognosis 3-4 months)

We have gotten over the initial shock and we have worked VERY hard to show the kids we are both there for them and things have been going well at least in the relationship department with the skids.

Their maternal GM has been another story...she has let their mothers house get filthy and dirty with animal feces and urine, she doesn't speak to the kids when they visit their mom at hospital and it makes them uncomfortable. The cleaning people couldnt clean the house -it was so disgusting and had the dogs removed and now GBM is getting a lawyer to get the dogs back (my skids dogs, not hers) She apparently has power of attorney now and thought that gave her the right to call the skids principal and yell at him. We don't even know how she legally got power of attorney b/c BM hasn't been of sound mind in over a month and I dont think she was assigned POA before the illness. She tells my SS he isn't depressed and doesn't needs meds (he is severely depressed)this list goes on and on....

Good thing is that skids have been staying with my in laws for 2 weeks now and are staying there indefinitely (we live 90 miles away and didn't want to pull them from school this year or while BM is still alive)

Its funny...as much as I loathed the BM and everything she did wrong with my skids and DH, my DH and I have found ourselves fighting on her behalf b/c of the improper care she was getting at the hands of her incompetent mother.

But I have a legal question for the seasoned SM's out there...don't my skids have any rights? Who can we contact to help them exercise their rights?

Such as: GBM is changing the locks on BM house and it doesn't seem like she is going to give skids a key. It's their house too!! They do got there after school before the in-laws pick them up and take them home.

BM's house was to be sold and split between skids after her death but we don't think there is an official will. If GBM is power of attorney does she get it then?
How can we protect the skids so they get something from their mothers estate? We don't know if she has a will, life insurance or anything and the skids don't know either.

How can we protect BM from this woman destroying her estate with improper Power of Attorney actions?

Comments

Totalybogus's picture

Submitted by Totalybogus on Wed, 04/20/2016 - 3:17pm

If she doesn't have a will, everything will go into probate and will be divided equally between her children once her debts are paid. No worries.

Just54321's picture

Submitted by Just54321 on Wed, 04/20/2016 - 3:27pm

so skids trump BGM as next of kin for assets?

Luckily I haven't had any death to deal with before...what is probate?

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Wed, 04/20/2016 - 3:49pm

What happens when there is no will depends on the state. DH should file for social security for the kids when BM passes.

Hopefully some of our legal experts will chime in. I would really encourage DH to discuss wills/insurance/documents with BM if they have an amicable relationship.

Just54321's picture

Submitted by Just54321 on Wed, 04/20/2016 - 3:57pm

BM has brain cancer, she isn't capable of real conversation anymore. Just simple statements and single word answers. She doesn't remember eating lunch or what she had most says so the time for serious conversations is past.

Just54321's picture

Submitted by Just54321 on Thu, 04/21/2016 - 9:22am

****UPDATE***
Turns out BM's doctor thinks the POA was obtained fraudulently and they have filed a report with the state and asked that it be investigated and quickly!! Yay!!

Also the director of the medical facility BM is in banned the crazy BGM from visiting in the afternoon so the skids can visit with their Mom in peace.

Skids have been with my in-laws for a few weeks now, so they are safe and well cared for.

DH is updating our lawyer today on all this non-sense with the GM to see what he can do to help protect skids woth their Mom's estate.

Both skids and their besties are coming to visit us this weekend and for the first time since I became a SM...I'm excited Smile

Just54321's picture

Submitted by Just54321 on Thu, 04/21/2016 - 11:31am

Nooooooo DH is not strong. LOL

First thing out of his mouth when we first found out about BM dying was "please dont leave me. Please say you will stay and try with the kids before you bail" Because that's how we were rolling with things...

This SM is strong and told DH "WE GOT THIS" as long as I am your partner on this 50/50. It also helped our therapist told him he needs to make me part of all decisions involving the kids moving forward since they will be living with us sooner than later.

I call my MIL every morning to check on the kids and how they did that morning with her, so we are definitely showing the kids its a team effort. Not just DH.

We have so much to still talk about and I do still hear him "negotiating" with the kids when asking them to do things these days but it's a work in progress. I keep telling him "we don't negotiate with terrorists"

I even did the Wednesday night Daddy dinner last week b/c he was out of town. Both kids joined me for dinner with their friends and for the first time since I have known them, I sat at a table of laughing, silly, talking kids.