New Year's Eve -BS!!!
I am so bleeping pissed off right now it's not even funny. My DH & his ex had an agreement to take SS every other New Year's Eve. However this agreement was made when SS was 6. He is now a very mature 15. Also, we only get him on weekends. So we were thinking we will not have him this year since New Year's Eve is on a Monday night plus the kid is old enough to have his own plans. So DH drops him off this morning & BM says so you'll be getting him on New Year's Eve. Apparently she feels that the agreement is still every other holiday even thou we never get him on a Monday & she doesn't want him to be left alone on New Year's Eve. Why do we have to have him is my number one question. Number two we had plans & now need to sit at home with a 15 year old bc for some unknown reason, he can be left alone any other time but New Year's Eve night for a few hours. We're not talking about a 4 year old here. He's old enough to go out himself to a friends house or to just stay at his moms house while they go out if they want. She's basically saying, you can't have any adult fun at your house bc he had to be there & you can't go out bc he needs to be babysat. Total BS. I'm really pissed at DH too that he didn't fight harder about this. Do you all think its fair that he should have to come over? Or do you think BM is just sticking it to us?
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Comments
What's stopping you from
What's stopping you from getting dressed and going out with family or friends?
If dad wants to sit home and babysit a 15 year old, let him.
I have to agree with ripley.
I have to agree with ripley. But I also think there is a twist of manipulation with BM. I think this could have been addressed sooner between BM, DH and SS
^^^^^^ THIS. This is exactly
^^^^^^
THIS. This is exactly what I was going to say. If he's at yall's house, then it's your call whether he needs to be babysat or yall let him invite a friend over and go out just you and DH. That's what I would do (and will do when SD is older, but we have her 100%, so it's always our call). Enjoy the New Year on YOUR terms!
Maybe I'm reading this wrong
Maybe I'm reading this wrong but your tone seams a bit condescending & last time I checked this was a place for stepparents to vent, not be attacked for doing so. And, in answer to YOUR Questions.
What kind of plans does a 15 year old boy have? Well speaking for myself, I ALWAYS slept over a friends house on occasions like this, or had them over my house. When his brother was this age, he did the same. So that's what I mean by him 'having plans'
And the reason why we didn't expect to have him is bc if certain holidays like this ( excluding Christmas ) fall during the week we don't get him bc my hubby works all the time including some holidays. He is working this new-years eve too & will have to pick him up after he gets out if work ( early evening) and then will have to wake him up early to drop him off bc we both work the next day, so it's kinda stupid to have him stay here. And like I said, she never has done this before when it falls during the week. Also, she has left him home alone overnight on several occasions so she could go to a concert or whatever. Basically she's just a hipocrite.
Yes. I am calling her a
Yes. I am calling her a hypocrite for leaving him alone all the time at her house but saying that we can't leave him alone at our house on this particular night. What's confusing about that to you?
I'd just tell him to invite a
I'd just tell him to invite a friend over pull out the video games and have a great new uears eve. My dd is going out till midnight (17) and I'm debating on choices for my ds (11.5) staying by himself for a couple hours playing all the video games he wants. I'm not sure yet cause of his age but I know he can handle it, but likely his dad might have a fit.
I get she is dumping him off
I get she is dumping him off and I read it the same way that you had ever other holiday since he was 6 so I was puzzled with that as well. However why do your guys let BM dictate how the child will spend time when he is with you.'
I would insist on DH following the plans let him stay home.
Yes he use to come over every
Yes he use to come over every other New Years when he was 6 to about 10 or 11 then it stoped, and was only if it was on a day we would normally get him like the weekend. Sorry for the confusion, I was clear bc when I was trying it, I was upset and didn't feel like typing 2 pages of details about the history.
**wasnt clear **
**wasnt clear **
I suspect DH is unwilling to
I suspect DH is unwilling to leave his son home alone on NYE. If that is the case - and I'm assuming these are adult plans that SS cannot attend - go by yourself. Then you still have plans & DH has what he wants too...
So BM expects y'all to go by
So BM expects y'all to go by the CO, and you're pissed about it.
HUH?!?
Sounds like maybe you and DH should have planned better.
Also, I would NOT let my 15 yo "go out" and do his "own thing" on NYE. Too many possibilities for problems. I want to know my kids are home and safe, not "at a friend's house" or out and about while there are drunks wandering around.
Your DH is a parent. You should get used to it.
Thanks for the attitude. This
Thanks for the attitude. This is a very supportive site I see.
Girl, try not to let the
Girl, try not to let the snarky comments get to you. Most of us are very supportive b/c we understand that the site is for venting; however, there are some people that are generally not supportive, and some people who are just downright rude to all people, all the time, regardless of the situation. And, as you said, this caught yall off guard b/c the court order has NOT been followed for the previous several years.
Go out yourself and have fun!
Go out yourself and have fun! Let DH sit at home and babysit the 15 year old baby while you have fun. If he doesn't want to put his foot down let him deal with the consequences!
Look at the bright side! Only
Look at the bright side! Only a couple more years of dealing with BM and then she can't dictate your schedule anymore
So true!! Thank- you for that
So true!! Thank- you for that happy thought !!