Need some advice....
Heres somebackground on Biomom.
bipolar,shizo.
overdosed with sd in the bed when she was 3. Multiple convictions for stealing breaking and entry in 2012 was her last coviction for sneaking contraband in the jail. she is remarried.
judge ordered no contact.
Sd15 has been in the 3 phyc wards. one theraputic girls home, she has lived with her grandparents and a aunt and got kicked out of those places becuase of bad behavior. and lies on me evil stepmom.
in 3rd grade BM showed up at her school told her she was going to kill me. and get her back.
in 7th grade (last year) sd15 contacted her told her i was abusive. bm told her that she was going to get her back.
currently no change.
the past two counslers have been pushing dh and i to do counsling sessions with bm,sd15,and myself.
WHY?>> WTH am i not seeing here? BM is supposed to have no contact. and you want to drag someone into it. to have 2 unstable people. why can they just drop it! there is a reason judge ordered no contact.why can they not just leave it alone. there are thousands of kids out there who have dead beat parents. Sometimes it may just be better to start dealing with it. if she wants to go find her when she is 18 then fine. but the judge ordered no contact. we are already dealing with an unstable freakin kid. hell last week she broke my fucking toe by throwing a fit. yes a fit! im talking 3 year old childish fit!
thats a whole different story I didn't want to get on here and vent about her. I need advice on this biomom stuff, we need her to have meds and she can't have meds without therapy and it seems every counsling want to involve the crazy bitch!
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Comments
Tell them the judge states BM
Tell them the judge states BM can NOT have contact for ANY REASON. If it's an issue, contact the judge who signed the order and have him draft a letter to her counselor.
That's my opinion.
New counselor needed. One who
New counselor needed. One who can read and understand that no contact means no contact. The court order does not read no contact except for joint counseling.
Counselors are not above the law. A counselor should not be asking a custodial parent to violate a court order.
SD needs counseling to focus on things as they are.
Counselor probalby thinks he
Counselor probalby thinks he or she is dealing with a normal parent and not a total crazie!!!!!!!!!!
[Quote; here's the link to
[Quote; here's the link to huffington post page, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/virginia-gilbert-mft/what-therapists-dont-...
"Therapists are trained to help clients become self-aware and authentic. For people who grew up in invalidating environments, where they learned to suppress their feelings and needs in order to be accepted, therapy can be life-altering.
Competent therapists who provide a corrective emotional experience can make it possible for people who never had a voice to find one. Once self-actualized, people generally find the quality of their lives improve: they find the right career, attract the right mate and extricate themselves from toxic relationships.
Unfortunately, this type of personal growth can be disastrous when divorcing a high-conflict personality. When working with a client who is married to, or separating from a narcissist, therapists need to invert the goal of traditional therapy. Instead of encouraging people to be authentic, they need to counsel people to be strategic. Expressing one's true feelings, admitting vulnerability, and apologizing for one's missteps can bury a person who is trying to dissolve a marriage with a narcissist -- especially when children are involved."
...............
OK, I know the last part speaks about marriage/divorce, but it can be applied to your SD as well. Her therapist is focusing on helping your SD find her authentic self and have courage to speak up for herself, I suppose the therapist thinks that resolving issues with BM will help, or at least trying to resolve them. But she is completely missing the point that BM is HC etc and that trying to attempt to 'discuss things rationally' with BM will have the opposite effect on SD as HC people are pro's at twisting things, making the other person feel guilty etc. Your SD needs a therapist who can help her strategize, spot and navigate BM's crazy.
DH and I contacted the
DH and I contacted the counsler. It is not the counsler who is "Pushing this" it is sd. Go figure. The counsler said this is something that we need to talk to your parents about. I told the counsler if i thought for one moment it could benefit her I would. but I don't think it would go that way. I said thousands of kids have lost a parent in divorce of jail or a million other reasons. and that she needs to start coping with this.