SD Punishment is annoying me
Okay - I know she is grounded from Facebook and Phone for being disrespectful to me, but I am willing to let the punishment go, since the rest of the house is being punished as well. She is BORED!! I spent last night in my study reading magazines and watching TV since I could not take anymore of her tedious conversations. I know she is 13 and that is annoying enough, but I can not listen to anymore stories about how popular and pretty we are and how much her friends all think so. Also, one more story about lack of compassion for someone else and I swear I was going to scream. My filter is gone with these stories. I say what I think now.
Last night she said that one of her friends tripped over a few book bags and she went to help her up and then pushed her down again. I was doing the dishes and just looked at her in amazement. I finally said that "you have no compassion at all" She said it was funny and didn't see why it was a problem. DH standing there doesn't say a word. Ugh!!!
He sat there last night watching TV with her in the family room. Everytime I went passed the room she was literally talking and he was not saying a word. I told him last night when he went to bed that all he was doing by not telling her to stop was encouraging the behavior of constant talking about herself. He thinks I am overreacting. I can not take it anymore. Even the boys just walk away when she starts in.
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What is it with children nowadays??
They have no empathy towards others. I have the same problem with SD10. How do you teach a child you see EOW to treat others how you would like to be treated! and guess what it's not all about you ALL the time. You're a kid, learn your place!!!
I have SS9 99% of the time
I have SS9 99% of the time and even I have trouble teaching him that! It's hard though when it wasn't instilled in him PRIOR to me entering his life 2 years ago.
As for the original post, you've gotta hang tight. My DD10 does the same thing. She's on punishment for something so she sets out to talk talk talk talk talk talk TALK my ear off about stuff in an attempt to have me give in and release her from the punishment. She knows what she's doing....
Bored?
Don't let little Precious get bored. How about chores? What if everytime she came in the room, you thought of a great boredome cure like....painting the garage, moping floors?
"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer." General George S. Patton
All Smiles took my answer
But 13 year old girls are like that my BD is 13 and I swear I have to have a glass of wine every night to listen to her stories. They are the sweetest thing one minute and turbo mood swing the next.
I think its normal - but drives me crazy
Oh and the word NO sets her off faster than anything I have every seen.
Her phone, IPOD, computer privileges are always being taken away. She learned really quick bored = cleaning bathroom, poop patrol, weeding, scrubbing lawn chairs....I can go on and on.....
Unfortunately you are going to have to let the punishment run its course, cause I bet it will get worse before it gets better
Love it!
That should keep you from hearing the 'B' word for a little while, at least
Ha, yeah kill her boredom with chores!
That's what my parents would have done.
And I understand the "stories about how popular and pretty we are and how much her friends all think so." But believe me, it doesn't get better. My SD20 is like that. She just got out of beauty school and is SO FULL OF HERSELF! I don't think she could plaster any more makeup on her face or find a single eye-brow to pluck anymore. Good grief, you would think that she should have grown out of the "I am fabulous" crap already. Every sentence out of her mouth starts with "I, me". Very self-centered and shallow. And she will talk shit behind everyone's back, even her 'friends'. It doesn't get any better with age. Ah, 'kids' these days. Did I just say that???
Suggested that.
She followed her dad to the bathroom last night and stood there talking to the closed door. I walked by and asked what she was doing and she said I was in the middle of talking to him and he got up and went to the bathroom. My comment "Then why are you still talking" and then I went in the kitchen laughing. I do like the idea of more chores. I suggested that in an email to my husband this morning, that she needed to clean out a drawer in her room. Maybe they could do some more bonding over cleaning out her drawers, since she needs to spend so much quality time with him.
After the concert last week and the boredom act and now the incessant talking, I keep spending evenings alone. Both the SS and my son have spent the entire weeknights in their room. I didn't realize it until last night. The good part is I have been leaving the house for yoga twice this week to get away and it is my plan for tonight.
I hadn't thought she had an ulterior motive with all the talking. If she frustrates him enough, he might go off the grounding. I may allude to that this afternoon with him. He will disagree of course, but the thought will be in the back of his head. Thanks!
So if
So if she's still keeping herself entertained by chatting your ears off your head, what exactly is the punishment? She doesn't seem to be getting the message as to what she did wrong and why she's being punished. How about she sits in her room and either cleans it (by herself so she can't continue to 'entertain' herself) or does some homework. She just sounds too happy while everyone else isn't.
Need to explain quality time
Sorry I was being sarcastic about her needing to spend more quality time with her Dad. She told BM that I never let them watch TV alone anymore. Now I do all the time. We have 50/50 and on our week she spends almost every evening, watching TV with her Dad.
You have given me something to think about. I didn't think taking these two privileges away was enough punishment. Now I know it is not, if she is keeping herself entertained this way. I am going to mention it casually to him. I have to be cautious now with my criticsm. He takes it very personally. I disengaged months ago (it is still a work in progress)and he is still not adjusting very well to all of it. He wanted me to help with the kids, but he didn't want me to have opinions on things. So now I don't. Now I am just telling him the issues and letting him deal with them. I relate it to a "tattletale". He wants me to tell him this stuff, but let him deal with it. Done.
Yep
sounds like DH needs to strengthen the punishment a bit.
As for SD watching TV alone with daddy, be careful about giving in too much when SD complains. If she notices that you're giving in when she says something to BM, then she'll start to bitch about everything/anything to get her way. Maybe an hour a night of TV for just dad and SD. Then it's back to family time. I wouldn't let SD take over my house. It's MY HOUSE. What are the other kids doing while she's monopolizing the TV with daddy? I hope everyone isn't suffering just to give this girl her way, otherwise everyone in the house will begin to resent her. That's another can of worms to have to deal with.