Well BM served us this morning seeking to change the CO of SD14. 8:00 AM and the Sheriff's dept was in the driveway. Told him we were expecting it. SD14 announced that she no longer wanted to live here. He told me his own kids put him through the same thing. He stopped fighting it and now no longer sees his kids. Told me to tell DH you can keep fighting, but in the end, it won't matter. His comment as let her live with mom and when she cries to come back in a month, tell her no "she made this bed, go lie in it". I agree with him. DH came home to start pulling all the docs for the lawyers. Talked about it and I mentioned my thoughts on it, that if we go through all of this and win, do we really want an angry teenager in this house? He told me to stop talking that way and let him come to this conclusion on his own. Fine, but I am saying it here, I don't think I want her here anymore.

I know it sounds awful, but the SD14 signature is on the papers. She is a little manipulative bi... She doesn't like living here, too bad. We won't let you date, we give you chores, we don't allow you to talk back. How dare we!

DH called BM and told her that he will be going to the original order of two weeks on and two weeks off. And if the kids were alone for longer than two hours they had to come here. She said she would try and change her schedule. She called back and said she will be home at 6 everyday. My question to him, is why are we not starting the two weeks on immediately. He said it would start next week. Again, why not now. He told me to back off and I said you start accomadating her now and it will continue. We are going to pay all these lawyers fees and still be nice to her????

I hope he calls back and that we get the kids for two weeks. Personally with SD14 grounded, she will be miserable for the whole time and she deserves it for putting everyone through this.

BM said she would drop this if DH, SD14 and I went to counseling. I said no, because how do I know that if I put myself through this, that we are not right back here in three months. This is not just about what SD wants, this is also about all the lies and ineffectiveness of the BM. DH put it in the response, that her household was a problem and that she was an ineffective parent and that she was PAS the kids. He wouldn't have even known that was a possible issue, if not for this board.

I have done therapy on and off for years dealing with issues and do not want to open up all of that again. These issues are not mine. I know that by going that they are going to make it about me and my rules. I stopped seeing my therapist two years ago and he was the one that made me see that the issues with SD14 were not my problem. I was doing nothing out of the ordinary, I was being a mom. I have seen him as needed the last year since moving in with DH and he continues to say the same thing. But, that is not what is going to happen here. If I go into therapy as BM has requested, it is going to open up so much for me. My husbands death, my son's death and my father. All issues I have dealt with. I just want the SS11 and let her go. How wrong is that?

Am I wrong in saying I won't do therapy? I went with DH a few months ago and even that therapist agreed that these are normal blending issues and that DH and I are fine. We stopped going because all it did was bring up stuff that wasn't really problems. Both agreed it was helping us, it was actually making it worse. We spent one session talking about decorating.

This is just the begining, and now SD14 comes home in half an hour and DH and I have decided to not say a word to her. I just want to go off on her and tell her to go to mom's. I know it is not my place, but she has no right to put all of our kids through this. I won't say a word, but I am so done trying or even talking to this child.