I started studying the martial arts. It takes my mind off of things for at least 3 hours a week, and it's not just learning all of the moves, our sensei also teaches the bigger picture of incorporating the "essence of karate" into our every day lives. It has given me focus, a physical outlet (I'm the only woman in the class so I really need to rock when I'm there), and I'm working on becoming more "zen" for lack of a better word.

My son takes classes at the same dojo, so we also have something to work on together.

Is this your spouse? I am new and don't know what DH means.

You should absolutely focus on yourself!!! Make it all about u…y not! I do Zumba dance classes, all Kinect active games, go for walks by myself or with friends, elliptical training and have a personal trainer. I don’t do all of this to necessarily lose weight (although that would be a bonus), I do it to mentally feel better. I make it all about me…me first then everyone else.
This is the first time I am commenting on anyone’s post…
Don’t let your DH drag you down like that…you should never feel that way!

Sadly enough, I don't think boosting self esteem is an off-topic subjuect when it comes to stepparenting.

Definitely focus on taking care of yourself. You deserve it.
Find some people who believe in you and hang around them instead of your DH. Do stuff that you know is good for YOU.

Exercise is huge. Anything you're comfortable with... martial arts, yoga, Pilates, walking, aerobics, floor work, anything. Just don't over do it at first and burn yourself out. Not only will you look better, but you will feel better, too.

Yes darlin, time you did something just for you. Several years ago I took up yoga and kickboxing -- lifesavers! (mine or someone else's, lol).

Exercise is a wonderful outlet and stress relief but it could be anything that is just for you - a pottery class, book club, whatever. Keep us posted!

I've had issues with my weight and self esteem with all this crap with BM, Skids and DH. I've just recently gotten into diengaging and focusing on myself. It's not been easy, but I do feel better. I was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea and have been using a c pap machine to help me breathe at night, so now I have more energy during the day.

I've been volunteering and spending time away from home, which has helped me to feel more refreshed to come home and deal. I know my DH is not totally happy with my choice, but I have been trying to make too many people happy for a very, very long time. It's my turn now.

Join the band wagon and take care of you! Maybe your DH has low self esteem and therefore puts you down to make himself feel better? Just thought?

Mature Women are SEXY! As we get older our bodies change. Make peace with it. Just eat healthy and take care of yourself. If you dont like to exercise like myself, just go on a 15 min brisk walk a couple times a week. Eat fresh fruits and vetables. It makes your skin glow more. Go out and buy a new comfortable lounge outfit for at home that looks good on your figure. Some cute slippers. It just makes you feel better if your not the type to go out too much and are a homebody. Most important....go get a richer hair color for the winter. I box color because I refuse to pay an insaine amount of money for a service I can do at home. Get a trim or a new haircut. Going shorter when your older is LIBERATING! Edgy and Sassy! It also is great for woman who like to wear make up and put the focus on your eyes. Always wear makeup....take 15 minutes out of your day FOR YOU. You will find that it keeps you going through the day, just makes you feel better. Your DH will notice, which is nice but most of all you will feel better about you no matter how old you are and what you weigh. My last word of advise will be....go get yourself some perfume. Or perfumed body lotion. When you smell pretty you feel pretty! Nothing musky...somthing light you can wear everyday like a signature sent. Hope this was helpful. Good Luck, and I hope you begin to feel better about yourself very soon.