Little things that bring out hurt-OT kinda
Sometimes I feel like I am so messed up. This morning while nursing BF sprained ankle I was smoothing out the wrap so that it wouldn't curl and catch on his sock (very gently mind you) and he proceeds to ask me why I have to always squeeze his ankle. OMG...that just went all over me. I proceeded to tell him that I am not trying to hurt him and that it really bothers me that he thinks so. I was really upset...could be leftover from the other night or something. I guess it just brings up issues that I equate that with the fact that I feel he doesn't trust me for absolutely no reason because I have never done anything to make him feel that way. He lives his life by what has happened in the past with others and I can't seem to break through that I am me and they are them. I can't help it but it hurts me. He tells me on the 2nd anniversary of our first date "well I guess we'll see what happens in the next 5 years and see if you stick around". That kinda bothered me too. I never knew there was a time frame for "sticking around."
If I didn't REALLY love this man, I would not stick around. Living with him is definately not a walk in the park. I deal with always being third fiddle in his life. I deal with a very dificult child that lives with us full time and I dealt with him at the beginning of our relationship emotionally cheating on me. I also deal with the fact that he says he never wants to marry me. I love him though....I have never had such a deep level of commitment and love to anyone. I have his back no matter what...but he is blinded by doubt caused by previous relationships and causes him to put up this wall that I can't seem to break through.
Thanks for listening...just needed to get it out 
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Exactly....the same way we do
Exactly....the same way we do them
Maybe SD acts the way she
Maybe SD acts the way she does because of the way your BF acts towards you. Goodness, no wonder the child thinks you were hurting her dad, he thinks you are intentionally hurting him!!! BF needs to shape up.
He's a big baby and feeds off
He's a big baby and feeds off his daughter's reactions. That is why he was carrying on so when all that happened the other night...he loved it when she "pwotected" him. He would never correct her for that.
Thats ridiculous. He needs
Thats ridiculous. He needs to back you. I only say that out of experience.
Like I said I will always be
Like I said I will always be third priority in his life....daughter first and family second. Since our life revolves around those two things him having my back on anything is probably not going to happen. I have found that being with him means fighting my own battles. Now I'm sure that if a stranger attacked me he would defend me (I hope..LOL). But as far as anything else goes...if I had a problem with his daughter he would take her side under any circumstance (if she was standing over me with a bloody knife and told him she didn't mean to do it, he would tell her that's ok baby, I can find a new GF, seriously)or if someone in his family didn't approve of me he would get rid of me. Actually, he puts his job ahead of me most of the time too.
But that is the way some people roll "bros before hos"...LOL isn't that the way it goes.
Ugh. My second husband used
Ugh. My second husband used to say "Some day you'll wake up and leave me." But the real dynamic that played out was "some day when you are moving forward with your life, I won't be able to leave my mother. So I will abandon you and our daughter instead."
My SO (Sorry - I've been
My SO (Sorry - I've been calling him DH although technically that's not true, it took me a bit to see all the variations!) is someone very affected by what he's been through in the past. He is very hesitant to trust anyone at all. And in the beginning of our relationship he completely and definitely put SS15 clearly ahead of me. I saw a lot in this man that I value, despite his hard exterior, and I worked on showing him who I am so that he would realize he can trust me, even if everyone else he's ever known has betrayed his trust.
Six years later, he may not trust me completely - but he trusts me a lot more than he trusts anyone else on earth. And I know he has my back.
He now also puts me first, ahead of SS. That's due to SS's behavior and the (lack of) character SS has continued to demonstrate as he's gotten older.
SO has said in the past, in front of both of us, that SS would always come first with him. Imagine SS's complete amazement (and that of BM) when SO said, after SS's latest drama, that that's no longer the case, and that now I come first.
With a guy who won't trust, it's very hard. It's not something I would recommend. It's very hard to break through, and it may never happen completely. But there's at least some hope. And a guy like that is very loyal, if he does decide he can trust you.
Not an easy road... hope it goes well for you.
L
That is very
That is very inspiring...thank you. Like you I too see a lot of good in this man. I work hard to let him know that I would never betray him. I know it will be long road...but if God willing I do breakthrough...I know it will be worth it.