MIL is mad that SS8 is spending Spring Break with my mom
I feel like I'm in an awkward position. I already arranged for my two and SS8 to spend the week of Spring Break with my mom who lives in the country about 2.5 hours away. BM isn't taking any extra time off that week to entertain SS so she didn't care and DH thinks he might be on a mandatory shut down at work so he'll be working 7 12s. I'm supposed to drive the kids up to my mom on the 11th and she's going to bring them back on the 18th. The 18th is coincidentally my baby shower which my sister is handling but it's going to be at my MIL's house. My mom is driving in with the kids that morning.
Anyway, my MIL sent me links to Spring Break activities going on around town and I replied back to her that I won't have any of the kids bc they'll be with my mom. She immediately called me and wanted to know why SS8 was going too. I said it's bc he'll be bored at home with just me. She said oh well I've been planning things for him and * six year old nephew* who she and my FIL are raising. She told me that she promised my nephew that they will all do lots of fun things together since SS8 didn't get to go on their cruise with them last month (she wanted to take him but he would have missed a week of school and he is doing poorly in school as it is so my DH said no). She was huffy on the phone and acted like now her other grand kid is going to be bored on Spring Break and it's all bc I'm putting priority on my mom over her.
Normally I would just think whatever, she'll get over it, but there's the factor of my baby shower taking place in her home at the end of Spring Break. I am sure she would never decline at the last minute to let it be at her house but at the same time I don't want to step on her toes over anything either. Should I tell my mom that SS8 won't be going with her anymore? She always welcomes time with him and wants bond but she wouldn't be crushed or anything. Only thing is I'd be stuck with SS8 anytime he isn't with MIL and I'm due in May with twins so I was looking forward to a relaxing kid free week to myself.
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Comments
Maybe offer to your mother in
Maybe offer to your mother in law that she can go and pick up SS a couple days early from your mom's (or maybe your mom will meet 1/2 way) that way he get's the best of both worlds
Your MIL shouldn't be making
Your MIL shouldn't be making promises she can't keep. I would keep the current schedule.
I agree with Ninji, stick to
I agree with Ninji, stick to the plan. Your DH is good with it so keep it the way it is.
I agree. Since MIL is going
I agree. Since MIL is going to have her other grandchild, tell her she is welcome to have SS for the week instead of SS going to your mothers.
OR MIL can arrange to pick him up a few days early from your Mom and keep him until the shower.
I would not want to keep SS Home with you only to have your MIL come get him for a few hours one day. He would miss out on a week at your Mom's.
But if he has the opportunity to stay a week with MIL and his cousin, maybe that would be best.
I would have your DH talk to
I would have your DH talk to her and ask if she wants him for the whole week.
He tells her that he won't ask you to run all over for him, but if she wants him for the same period of time that your others are gone.. he is fine with that.
MIL already told me that she
MIL already told me that she is going on an overnight casino trip the first weekend of spring break so that's already two days she won't be around. If DH is working the shut down then I will have to take SS8 with me the 2.5 hours to drop off the other kids to my mom and then bring him back with me and pray that MIL wants to spend every day with him. She lives two minutes away from us but I don't think SS8 has spent more than two nights in a row with her.
Just send SS to your moms.
Just send SS to your moms. You are going to have to bend over backwards so that MIL can spend a few hrs with him. Not fair to your SS.
I agree with this but I would
I agree with this but I would add that you don't care where he ends up as long as you don't end up with him during the times you arranged for him to be gone because you have already made your plans around him being gone.Of course sweeten it up so you look like a peach.
Does your mom really give a
Does your mom really give a hoot about having SS8? So can you just tell your mom, change of plans and let SS8 got to MILs? Or is SS8 really looking forward to your mom's? I know my 7 year old wouldn't give a hoot which grandparents he was going to as long as he wasn't sitting home being bored
He is looking forward to
He is looking forward to going, BM asked him yesterday if he wanted to spend the week with my mom and she text me that he excitedly said yes. My mom would be a little disappointed but she will still have my two daughters there so she wouldn't care that much.
Thanks for all the advice.
Thanks for all the advice. My MIL is also raising her two year old grandson (brother of the 6yo) and I know she is not going to take him to daycare everyday of Spring Break so she will get worn out fast. She will end up doing the park one day and McDonalds play place the next and probably try to push all the kids off on me one of the days so she can go resale shopping or get her hair done. I am going to leave it how it is I just wish I wasn't such a people pleaser :/
stuff MIL, I would simply
stuff MIL, I would simply tell her.... MIL SS is your grand son not your son, we already made plans months ago, if you promise something before talking to us it's not our problem. (but that's me, I'm a biatch)
Simply let DH take over and tell his mother, you already informed us you are not available these dates, thus we made alternative arrangements and SS is very excited about going to the country. Please in future talk to us in advance before making promises to other grand children.