Yesterday morning I had to do a chore that OSS was supposed to do. DH asked what I was doing and I told him and also said to tell OSS "thanks for nothing." (Yes, I said that. It affected me. I am me. I get to say what I feel.)  Apparently DH had told OSS three times to do it the night before. And, DH texted OSS right after I said the "nothing" comment to tell him that I had had to do the chore. 

THEN, when I got home DH took me aside to tell me he had been thinking about it and when OSS got to the house (he was working) that he, DH, was going to have another discussion with OSS not doing what he is supposed to without being reminded, still not doing it, all the other non-responses and ignoring he's been doing (this stuff has been going on for a couple months and the chore and hygiene reminders have been happening for years). DH said he will see to it that OSS does that chore all weekend (it usually rotates thru the kids). Plus OSS had asked to go do something this weekend that has been a thing he usually says is X amount of time and usually ends up he is gone hours and hours longer without responding to "where are you" and "come home now" texts---and DH is not going to let him do that either.

Who is this guy?

When OSS got home DH came to get me. In front of me DH said all those things and laid into OSS about his lax attitude and not keeping his word. When DH got to the part about not letting OSS do the long, long activity he said something about not wanting to be mean but that OSS could not go. I spoke up and said, "DH, you aren't being mean, you're being a parent and parents sometimes have to give consequences for poor behavior." (I want to reinforce he's parenting since he has a hard time "being mean to" --parenting-- the skids.)

I have no idea what happened. Maybe he had some conversation with some of his guy friends and they told him he had to step up, maybe all the shit happening because I refuse to rescue or be the bad guy has done something, or maybe he even has seen a counselor. But it's interesting and nice to see he got a clue and is parenting. Let's hope it's not too late (OSS is 17.5 and YSS is 16) and that it lasts.