Kids and politics
Real politics, not relationship/first and second family stuff.
DS was talking about political things and happened to mention that he wasn't happy YSS was going to be able to vote in the next election. Just based on his bday and timing, I looked it up because that sounded wrong. YSS turns 18 just days after the election. DS said he was relieved, that YSS has gone way to one side. He reads lots of political sites and has views that are in the yellow zone, moving into the red zone of extreme. DH and BM have never monitored their internet usage. When anyone cruises a site or searches for something, the engines keep track and serve up more of the same and slightly "more interesting" sites and information. It's easy to see how someone can get pulled into things. And the kid is on electronic devices continually when he's awake.
It came up in a conversation with DH about YSSs views. Don't remember how, just some side note perhaps in asking what DS and I talked about while we were doing something. I didn't think much of it. It bothered DH and he talked to YSS about it. He was not happy at all after the conversation. This topic I heard a lot about. YSS has lots of pseudo-facts and fact-pinions. DH says he needs to correct YSSs views and is going to work on him --which could drive YSS away if it's heavy-handed. (Perhaps if you had monitored his internet usage and talked about important issues sooner and more often you could have had some influence and taught them when and how to question information.)
I'm guessing DH will be quietly unhappy but not actually do anything. If he cannot inform YSS that it's good manners to take off your hat at the table, how is he going to confront his child about politics, morals, and ethics?
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LOL, I have a similar issue
Munchkin will try to give opinions on politics, but of course they are over simplified. She will say "so-and-so" is bad, but not have information on exactly WHY. As a female who is living "middle class" lifestlyle with financial challenges, I think it behooves us to teach her more.
I try to stay out of it, and stay in middle ground.
Morals and ethics is another issue entirely. A very MUDDY issue. Cant give specifics, but lets just say the less she knows about her parents, and how they met, the better.
I agree that the parents should be the source of discussion, not opinion. Read, research and more reading and research. Do your OWN reading and researching.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but a better informed opinion is always more desireable, I feel.
"Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but
a better informed opinion is always more desireable, I feel."
Agreed. DS and I do not agree on some things but we've had conversations where we've challenged each other. It's good practice and helps to know if you really hold an opinion that you can defend. DS and I are totally opposite on one issue but we each have a solid basis for it built on our research and experiences and can see why the other sits where they do on the issue.
Extreme on which side? One
Extreme on which side? One side would concern me more than the other considering recent events. In general though, good luck changing an adults political opinion. If there are things that are completely untrue send a link to politifact debunking it. In my experience though if someone doesnt want to see facts when it comes to politics it's a lost cause though.
He's far into
the side that is currently the most inflammatory.
He's not an adult. He's 16.
Lol sorry I wasnt thinking
Lol sorry I wasnt thinking and didnt comprehend about the "next election" part in regards to his age.
Anyways, I would be concerned about that if its hateful things...I'm assuming that's what it is and that your DH isnt just worried about purely political things- like say if he believes in lower taxes and smaller government. I have no idea what to tell you to do about it because I have yet to see anyone be convinced to ditch those beliefs, but I would honestly be upset if it was my own child so I understand.
It's $h1t
that could get his a$s kicked if he said it in the wrong crowd. So, yes, some of it woefully naive, misinformed and racist.
Is it bad that I read this
Is it bad that I read this and thought - YSS sounds like about 70% of America! Pseudo-facts and Fact-pinions!
I think the only thing you can really do in this case would be to get him real facts, real stats and real face time with local representatives from both (or more) parties. He might learn a lot in the process. It may sway his beliefs or it may just bring him back from "red zone".
That is a really good point
to have him meet some actual politicians and pundits who know.
Many of them make time for
Many of them make time for this kind of thing. He might not be voting in the next election but he will be a long term constituent.
Yea. Another Facebook informed
Yea. Another Facebook informed constituent. (facepalm) I think it is perfectly reasonable for his father to have a serious conversation with him now about what is real and what is not and that just because someone sends you a "news story" online does not make it true. It was things like this that had a guy show up heavily armed at a DC pizza place genuinely thinking that he was going to be rescuing children from a sex-trafficking ring run from the basement by Hillary Clinton. Once people go down this rabbithole it is hard to dig them out. Much better to grab them by the tail before they get too far in!
I have friends who are liberal and conservative. But they can clearly lay out their reasons based on actual policies or lack thereof and are very reasonable. When you get into who is "evil" or "they are secretly involved in XYZ" then things go off the rails very quickly and we are starting to see the effects on a daily basis. I hope your DH steps in and can get your SS away from those websites.
I guess this is an age-old
I guess this is an age-old issue...I hear parents in the '60s kicked out sons for wearing long hair and daughters for wearing miniskirts!
But for the extremism part you fear...
I think the only way you change that ugliness to which I believe you refer is for a black man to donate warm red blood to a dying white man and vice versa.
As long as your SS sees the world as "us vs. them," he will not understand the concept of "we."
He thinks he has nothing in common with the people he hates, but if he needed a blood transfusion to live, he'd not question the complexion of the donor.
Experience
will be his best teacher.
From reading, I honestly
From reading, I honestly believe my political views probably don't align with yours. BUT, something we're super big on, we're teaching the kids to do their research and ask questions. I'm not saying just from the major news sites either. And to look at both sides and take a reasonable and educated stance on an issue.
I believe that a lot of media is skewed these days, people overreact, and I think BOTH sides have issues realizing cohesion and that treating others like humans goes a long way. I think that there are people on BOTH sides that have some major issues and skewed agendas that don't line up with reality or morallity, and there is a lot of dark and backhanded things going on, BUT I think that research helps.
I also have some anxiety though, so one of my comforts is researching the s*** out of things if I don't feel i fully understand something. LMAO
As for a solution, I think your DH needs to be careful about how he handles it. Too hard either direction and the kid is going to get pissy and definitely not listen (teenagers *eye roll*). I think the stance should be taken to just get him doing more research and thinking. If your DH doesn't agree with something his son feels. Maybe he should offer to research with him, look at arguements for BOTH sides (and the grey area in between, normally less vocal, but still there). Instead of forcing his ideaology on him, get him researching from both perspectives to give him the tools to form an educated decision. I think that will help prevent from pushing him away, but at that point, regardless of his views, at least you and your DH know that he's doing some research and being smarter about what side, if any, he chooses to take.
We may be more alike than you think
I really cannot call myself liberal, moderate, or conservative, or independent, democrat, or republican. I am all over the board on which things I support. Is there a hodge-podge party?
I agree that DH needs to be careful. He could really alienate YSS and not keep the communication open. It might be good for DH to look at both sides of an issue, too. (My dad likes to debate and would challenge me all the time. But it was good, it got me to think about things and have something to back up what I was saying. My mom used to get so mad, though, because neither of us would agree with the other. But that wasn't the point of what we were doing.)
That's fair. And possibly so.
That's fair. And possibly so. :)
My family did that as well. We'd have very big discussions and opinions challenged, it pushed us to realize why we believed the way we did and to do the research to follow it up.
It probably would be good for both of them. And DH being a bit open (not a push over obviously) might help YSS to be more open on the situation of doing research and checking all angles too.