Tonight I worked late. It is typically an all-kids night. I get home and YSS is there but no OSS. So, being polite (since I've gotten backlash for not caring), I ask where OSS is. DH says he doesn't know. And that he had expected OSS but OSS didn't show, he had to call/text OSS and there's no reason (no work or event) but that he just wasn't coming, and he's 18 so he is an adult and can decide.

To which I said "ok." And I went about my night.

And, yes, it bothers me. It's rude of OSS not to coordinate with DH or give him a heads-up. It's the lack of manners that bothers me. Not a huge bother but still a bother. I grew up in a household FULL of manners. We had to say 'yes, sir' and 'no, sir' and call adults Mr./Mrs. xyz.  XH and I have required DS to tell us his schedule and his plans, even as an "adult" since it's the polite and appropriate thing to do--that you'd do even in a roommate/apartment sharing situation. So that's my background and why this behavior makes ripples in my pool of tranquility. And DH gets morose with statements like "at least one kid still likes to come here." But he set up this dynamic himself.

I know, I know, me and my Miss Manners, first-world, you-have-no-idea-how-bad-it-can-get problems.

(Dear deity, there is a mosquito that could bite my arm off crawling across my screen right now. I'm gonna sign off before I lose a limb.)