Months of gathering evidence, medical records, emails from SD6's teacher, psychologist records, proof that she's not signed up for summer school to go with BM's texts which show she claimed SD6 was signed up and we're not goint in front of a judge until mid SEPTEMBER. I feel like it was such a waste of time and that we're essentially worse off than before because all this will do is piss off BM who will withhold visitation.

This was supposed to be BM's weekend but Friday afternoon she texts DH saying she has plans early Saturday morning and would we like to take SD6 overnight. We have had SD6 for the last three weekends but God forbid, BM want to spend some time with SD. So we agree, I drive the 20 mn to pick her up and BM isn't there and she's not responding to our texts. Finally she tells DH that she's in the next town w her mom and SD6, so we can pick her up from there-only to send another text ten minutes later saying her mom wants to take SD6 instead. WTF?! I'm driving all over hell and creation to pick SD up on our off weekend, then she leaves her with her mother instead. So aggrevating but whatever, I went home.

Then yesterday afternoon she texts saying she has plans Sunday morning and do we want SD6 that night through Sunday afternoon. Now for anyone who has sided with BM on anything, I want you to understand what kind of person she is; we're supposed to alternate weekends, we had SD three out of four weekends in March, every weekend in April, FOUR out of the five weekends in May and she left SD with her mother (SD's grandma) all of Mother's day weekend and after not spending one Friday night at home or any of her weekend with SD in over two months, she makes plans for this weekend as well and only seen SD long enough to drive her from school to grandma's and from grandma's to where we met her. Yet she refuses to give us placement.

Some of the women on here have been questioning why the clothing issue bothers me so much and stating that I'm overreacting,that it's not such a big deal, etc.however when we met up with BM to get SD yesterday, I noticed the clothes she was wearing seemed a bit small but I didn't say anything. On the way home we stopped at a gas station and SD had to use the bathroom, afterwards she told me her side hurt and when she showed me, there were red marks and indents on her skin because the leggings and skirt she was wearing were so tight. I put a few napkins between the clothing and her skin and told her we'd put something that fit on her when we got home. It was difficult to get the clothes off of her and after I had done so, I looked at the tag; size FIVE! As I've said before SD6 is 4'2" and 65lbs, which is the height of the average 8 year old girl and the weight of a 9 year old. She hasn't worn a size five since she was four, the 6Xs don't even fit her. Three times over the last two months BM has sent her to our house or to school in shoes that were a size 13 and size 1; she wears a 2, which BM knows because the last time BM bought her shoes, she purchased a size 2. There was also a pair of boots that had holes in both toes to the point that you could see SD's mismatched socks. Every time this has happened we've had to send her to school in shoes that we have bought and the worst part about it is that BM has continued to do this even though she has shoes we bought SD that fit, she's just a slob who doesn't clean her house and SD says she's wearing these shoes because they're the only ones she can find at BM's house.

I hate sending clothes to BM's house when I know we won't get them back but can anyone here legitimately say they would put clothes on their skid that were so small that they hurt and send them to school that way? Or send them to school in shoes that were two sizes too small? Or that you wouldn't be upset if your skid kept coming over like this even when BM had stockpiles of your things at her house and was just too lazy to wash or find them? According to the court order, we get SD six nights a month; we've had her two to three times that much for the last four months and BM is still leaving her with grandma or babysitters on top of that. DH is still paying the full child support amount, even though based on how often we have SD, he shouldn't be paying BM a damn thing and we're supposed to wait another three MONTHS to plead our case to a judge.

So unfair that this is how the legal system works. They're so overrun with cases and there's no concept of priority not to mention the nightmare we're going to run into with BM when she gets the paperwork we've filed. I can't help but feel like this was a huge waste of time and that BM will make some half hearted effort into making it appear as though she's made changes and the judge won't change a damn thing. I just read about a little boy whose dad dropped him of with the boys BM and later that night, he was pronounced dead because BM's boyfriend beat him to death and she did nothing to stop it. The court records online show the dad filed for enforcement of placement and made allegations but the judge said he couldn't do so without evidence. I really wish they'd hold judges accountable for their bad choices and instead of overhauling the immigration system, they'd work on doing so for family court.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just so frustrated and feel helpless....