DCF removed SS from BMS care and she didn't complete her case plan. So dh got full legal and physical custody.

Sd's bm just walked away and never looked back.

Not helpful for your situation....but I think a lot of the people on here who have full custody its because of those two scenarios... Either mom was unfit or mom walked away

DH is the custodial parent of SS13 and BM gets EOWe and a two week on/off schedule during the summer. She only asked for every other saturday night, but DH told the mediator that he wanted BM involved.

BM basically abandoned DH and SS13 when SS was only 5. DH remained in the family home for 2 years, then moved an hour away back to his home town to be near his family. He never filed for divorce until I came along and assisted him.

This is when the custody arrangement was established.

DH has 50/50 of SD6. He and BM3 agreed to it when they divorced. At the time, SD was just barely 2 years old, and she wasn't in school, so it didn't matter that they lived in different towns, about 3 hours away from one another. When DH joined my family, we moved to a town closer to BM3, and she has family here, so she moved here, too. Now we live about 10 minutes from each other, and 50/50 just makes sense.

DH and BM2 used to have 50/50 of SD10. They lived in the same town at the time, and didn't agree on anything at all. They both wanted full custody, but since they lived in the same town and could both get SD to school, the judge granted DH 50/50. Basically he got it because there was no reason he couldn't have her half the time. Since then, BM2 moved out of town, so DH got full physical and legal custody, and she eventually got visitation. Now she lives out of state, so she is supposed to have her 8 weeks in the summer, but I really don't see that happening.

DH and BM did not get married until SD was 6 months old. They started divorce proceedings immediately after SD's second birthday. DH asked for and got 50/50 custody, and he always said he regretted not asking for primary custody. I wasn't there at the time so I can't say WHY he got 50/50. BM wasn't particularly unfit. When SD was 11 BM moved an hour away without entering a plan for custody. So they went to mediation and DH ended up with primary custody.

DH had 50/50 at the time of their divorce 3 yrs ago, but over the last year, SD14 has become increasingly alienated against him by her mother and now lives with her full time.

BF has primary custody. SD7 lives with us. BM sees her 6 hours a week and every other weekend.
She asked him for a divorce. He had papers drawn up actually giving her 50/50. She just never took the time with SD. When the separation year was over she decided she was going to fight BF for custody.. Big, huge disaster. She begged him to settle. She now has less then the 50/50 she originally had.
Now it's a never ending story of how she wants more time but never makes any effort to spend more time!! It's actually very frustrating.

I found it incredibly shocking how many Mothers in this world want nothing to do with their children. I couldn't handle losing touch with my grandkids if DS and DIL broke up....I could have never turned my back on my own.

I don't understand how so many women can just walk away.

DH has sole legal and physical custody of SS17 and only got that because we had him arrested & put in a treatment center for sexually abusing 7 kids (3 his 1/2 sibs). BM did NOT do what she was supposed to while he was locked up so probation and the state put him with us. Then probation wouldn't let him off until we got legal custody due to the extreme PAS they realized she was doing. Now BM has nothing to do with him and can't understand what went wrong. Maybe she thought DH would try to control her the way she did to him.

There is absolutely no custody order for SD14, but there is child support ordered. She lives in same town with her BM and we never get to see her because SS lives with us and she's one of his victims. SD understands that she can't be around SS and we have no-where to send him. She said she's moving in when he graduates and leaves. I don't blame her, her BM is horrid to her.

BS9... He's ours and he's the one who outed SS(then 13) about the sex abuse. That boy of mine is going no-where because he has no choice!!!!!! LOL

BM said she wanted to leave. (she had been having am affair with a matured man).... FDH said, " you want to leave? Fine take your shit and get out. I'm keeping the kids"

And BM never questioned it until her lawyer mentioned child support... But then all FDH had to say was "write it in the divorce decree that neither one of us ever has to pay the other for child support and neither one will ever seek it. I will pay all medical expenses, school expenses, all care and upbringing expenses."
So BM AGREED!

She does not pay a dime to FDH. barely has a change of clothes for them at her house or anything,...
She gets to be mother of the year in every public function and only do what she wants to with them when she gets visitation...

She threatens to take custody, but never does anything about it, and the kids don't want to live with her...

DH's 2nd wife lost custody of her son because of extreme PAS. She would have lost custody of daughter but she was already 18. That the daughter changed her last name not to be her father's and refused to speak to him was further proof of the PAS.

The BM was a working professional with no alcohol or drug issues. Pillar of the community type - but a true bitch. The judge just finally had had it with her constant law suits, etc for almost a decade.

I found it laughable that 2nd wife went to such extreme lengths to convice her children that their father was the devil incarnate - but once he divorced the woman he left her for she ran right back to him. 15 years of calling him every name in the book, turning him in to IRS (false claims), convincing everyone that he was the most horrible creature on the face of the earth and then she runs back to him???

A couple that I knew got divorced about 3-4 years ago with a 4 year old girl. They have always had 50/50. She wanted to move out of state but the judge said she could not take the daughter.

BM1 is a POS. DH got full custody of SD8 when she was 3. BM1's dad went to her apt and she was passed out high with her BF and SD (3 at the time) was playing outside by herself. BM1's dad said nothing. Took SD and called DH to come pick her up. He filed for Emergency Custody. BM1 went to court failed her drug test and claimed it was a prescription. They set another court date, a week later. Where she was to pass or provide the prescription. She never showed. DH has had SD ever since. At first BM1 had supervised visitation which was changed to unsupervised on the terms that she provided a clean drug test upon picking up SD. A drug test that DH had to pay for. (On a side note: BM1 was ordered to pay nothing in CS. why? The judges words, "She doesn't have a job. How do you expect her to pay CS?".. SERIOUSLY?!?!) Within the last 2 years BM1 has went back to drugs and taken up prostitution. SD8 hasn't been over there since Aug.

SD4 was pretty easy. BM2 and DH agreed to 50/50. I believe BM2 was just trying to get on DH's good side and probably try and be with him because shortly after the CO was written and DH stopped accommodating her every need she got a BF and now complains that SD4 spends too much time with SD4. She called flipping out saying "this 50/50 thing isn't working" and that according to the CO DH was only suppose to have her EOWE. I pulled out the CO highlighted the 50/50 week on week off line and slapped it down. She called and apologized. We have a fairly civil relationship, but sometimes she gets these random bugs up her ass and just needs to be set straight a little bit.

I absolutely adore SD4 and have been with around since she was born. We are really close and I honestly understand that that probably really bothers BM2.

not 50/50 legally, but 50/50 in real life. DH is supposed to have EOWE but BM is a lazy, homeless, jobless POS so every weekend since december we've had them pretty much fri after school to mon (drop off at school). plus MSS's practices (and YSS always goes) during the week - sometimes she manages to actually get him here, but DH is the one that stays for it and then he is transportation after practice, he also gets them dinner those days and sends food w/ them for OSS (who does not go with them). if its an evening with no practice, he's exhausted already.

i've had one date w/ my husband since december, that was for valentine's day observed on 2/25 instead due to *drumroll* BM's incompetance to care for her own damn kids for one freaking evening that was important to me.

so, long story short, we have as much time w/ them as we do because BM is a dumbass loser and the skids are her 'safety net' whereby she doesnt HAVE to really take care of them cuz she knows someone else always will, and DH simply will NOT refuse any time with them (nor have i ever asked him to) even if its for one evening that means a lot to his own freaking wife. no court battle involved (and also of course no adjustment in cs either).

ok, sorry. thnx, got that all out of my system for now

SO and BM have no legal agreement. They split almost a year ago and decided on 50/50 custody and expenses. SO gets his son Thursday evening-Monday morning.

SO and BM originally had 50/50 custody with him paying about 50% of his income on CS because he was a contractor, no W2s, so the judge came up with this magical number and SO lost his shirt over it.

BM decided to move the skids without permission 2 hours away to Hicksville, USA where her family was. Pretty sure this went against their CO, but SO didn't fight it for what reasons I will never understand. This was before I came into the picture. BM is a pretty crappy mother, mostly absent. Grandma and Aunt spent more times with the kids than BM did. It was hard watching them come visit for the weekends saying how BM spent all her time in her room with her iPod and they never got to spend any time with her. She started dumping the kids more and more on Grandma and Aunt. After she moved to Hicksville, SO cut his CP in half since the cost of living is next to nothing there. BM agreed to this, she even wanted the CP lowered so she could apply for welfare and food stamps! This was all done by the 2 of them, no court involvement.

About a year after SO and I started dating, BM decided she "couldn't handle" the skids anymore and asked if he would take them full time and she would visit weekends. He asked what I thought of this (bless him) and I said, "Hell, yes, go get them now before she changes her mind!!!"

Skids have lived with SO full-time ever since. They go visit BM every weekend, which is more like every other weekend now. He stopped the CP when they moved up. He gives her $$$ every once in a while when she has the skids for extended times like summers or winter break.

This was all done with no court involvement. I told SO before I would even consider getting married, he MUST get an attorney and get all this settled legally so BM can't come back in 10 years demanding thousands of dollars in back child support. He said he doesn't think she would do that. Oh really? Well, that's very nice that you have such a high opinion of BM, my dear befuddled SO, but I am not going to gamble our financial future on the goodwill of BM!!!

OK done, sorry so long.