wow, DH's 15yr old pregnant and neither BM nor his daughter has yet called to inform him...
This is the kind of bs DH has put up with for years...anything negative, that would reflect on her poor parenting, she keeps away from DH...of course, once she thought her daughter was gay and quickly called DH to tell him and finished by saying, "she must have gotten that from YOUR side since you have a couple of gay cousins..." Amazing...Honestly, his daughter got her "hoochieness" from the BMs side...maybe that should be DHs response to this whole mess...
But for now, we'll just lay low...DH has not called and said he will NOT call until they inform him...He figures they'll just lie anyway...like they always have...
By the way, her due date is the same day as my grandmother's b-day...no way I will miss being with my 87yr old grandmother to attend this fiasco...and I have a feeling DH won't either...that'll be up to him...if they ever even tell him...
Amazing...just amazing...
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I agree StepAside...it did
I agree StepAside...it did make me sick to my stomach a few months back when I saw his daughter's texts on his phone..."I love you daddy...did you send me the money yet?" (this was NOT related to child support, this was EXTRA money she wanted...) the last text was from DH saying "yes, I sent it 4 days ago (out of the country), it should be there shortly..." No other text from her saying "thanks, I got it..." Just a month later he went to the school, she was super sweet in front of the teachers and later that evening when he called her, she never answered the phone again...it's been about two months now since that...I'm sure he'll get another text when she wants more money...
Although DH has decent
Although DH has decent relationships with his kids, we have gone through very similar things, even a pregnancy although SD was 19 at the time. Ever since DH left that house, it went to hell in a handbasket. BM does not provide guidance or oversight. SS flunked 8th grade twice, had a truancy petition served by the court, got arrested for pot possession, failed drug tests and went to lock-up. SD almost didn't graduate, wrecked two cars, and got pregnant. SS and SD have both bought bad cars without consulting expert DH on the matter.
DH found out all after the fact. The worst was when he called the court to find out about date (truancy) and was informed there was another date for the drugs. This was 5 months after the fact. BM and the kids keep secrets, like they are all children getting one over on the big bad daddy. They, including BM, hid their cigarette smoking before the divorce and bald faced lied why the cars smelled like smoke. "must be my friend." BM's behavior in hiding things and not disciplining really angered me, on DH's behalf. I raised two great successful kids--and worked more than one job--so her single mother BS is just that, BS.
Now my DH is a very nice man, smart and reasonable. Yet he has standards. BM couldn't wait to get away from any kind of adult living and it shows in the kids, the house (wrecked and dump) and her life (miserable, out drinking every weekend). What helped DH with his kids is that he stopped rescuing them. Stopped bailing them out. That really improved his relationship with them. We also moved far away and although he misses the kids, it stopped the drama cycle. They are both doing much better. SD is raising her little son right and going to school. SS is back on the right track and made up his grade levels. I hope they get out of that place when they both are out of school. Or else they'll be living the low rent drama life BM has.
Wow, there truly is a
Wow, there truly is a pattern...Funny because I read everywhere how "FATHER" involvement decreases the chance of kids getting pregnant, drugs, etc...but ALWAYS written from the view that "because the father is NOT involved, because he just doesn't care, he doesn't want to, etc...the kids suffer"....when the fact is that the reason that this happens is because the MOTHER allows the kids to do whatever they want, push the father away so that the kids can do whatever they want, etc...and then everyone can say it was because the father did not love his kids and wasn't involved...
Statistics can be interpreted any way you want...and obviously these are always interpreted to benefit the BM, not the bio-father...again, the fact is that the reason IS because the father is not involved, but only because the mother does this so she can allow her kids to do whatever they want in order to hurt her ex so that she has ALL the control...very sad...
So you think part of BM's
So you think part of BM's behavior is to punish DH by denying him full participation with the kids? I also thought she hid stuff out of shame for her "unfitness." It bit her behind though because DH could have helped nip situations in the bud, like the truancy petition. The principal of the HS warned her 3 months before papers were served. But not a peep to DH.
Oh, definitely...she
Oh, definitely...she basically wants full control on how SD is raised...she has not once called him to complain about ANYTHING or let him know ANYTHING, including when she failed school...this has been a pattern for years...her only concern is she gets her money and that he has as little contact as possible if it means that what he teaches her goes against what SHE believes is correct...ie. dress like a hoochie at 9yrs old...go out on dates since she was 11...stay up on myspace since she was 10-11...that way she can then tell his family how "uninvolved" he is...go figure...
And of course, as most teens that are raised to do whatever they want, his daughter just didn't answer his calls (neither did her mother) when he called to check up on her, etc...so, well, it bit her, but at the end of the day, it bit DH too...since he'll be paying for a preggo 15yr old who lives in BMs house with her boyfriend and has for the past two months...and God knows when she'll graduate, if ever...just more CS for BM...