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OT-signs that you should RUN, not walk away while you are dating...

herewegoagain's picture

So today I did some thinking and realized, "wow, the signs...how did I miss them? why didn't I put two and two together?" And with that, here is what I have realized in the last 12 years. Please add your own...maybe together we can help others who are seeing these signs and don't realize the impact it will later have in their life. Here are some of mine...I'll add more later :sick:

1. You go out on a date, you are cold, he doesn't even offer his jacket...or it's cold outside, but although you tell him that you are cold, he decides he's hot so leaves the windows open.
TRANSLATION - later on, he will be as selfish as this is...and although the above seems a bit silly, the fact is that a man who is that way at the beginning, will be just as selfish later in your relationship...it will ALWAYS be about him and what he wants, needs and deserves...

2. His credit is ruined and he blames his ex
TRANSLATION - once together, anything related to his credit, or his lack of good financial planning will be someone else's fault and NEVER his own. The fact is that although a crazy ex CAN ruin your credit, there are plenty of things that can be done to avoid it. I am divorced, my ex did NOT ruin my credit because I was one step ahead of him and did everything I had to do immediately the day we separated to ensure that his future debts did not become mine, I canceled all joint credit cards that were under my name, etc...there are ways to protect yourself, it's just some are too lazy to do the work and it's easier to blame someone else.

3. He likes to just "spend time with you"...doesn't matter if you just watch a movie at home
TRANSLATION - he's to darn lazy to even plan anything for you...it's easier for him to just sit at home and watch a movie than to actually take some initiative and plan something special for you. Guess what? Sounds romantic while dating, but it's really a crock of sh$$t. After you get married, he will NEVER plan anything for you. It'll be YOU planning every vacation, every outing, etc...because he's to lazy to do it...and he lied to you when he said "I just like to spend time with you even just watching tv"...

Comments

whoa_nelly's picture

Add on to #3....if his family ALWAYS come first and you ALWAYS come last....welll, you will always come last.
And lesson learned from my own divorce.....all those things that you don't like, and he/she is unwilling to change, and you think you can live with. They become huge mountains of resentment later on.
Last but not least....if he can't make time for you now, he will keep finding reasons to not make time for you later.

Disneyfan's picture

If he tells you he's a kids come first person(like me) and you know you're a relationship comes first person, leave.

Don't waste your time and his, trying to get him to agree with you. BTDT

Observe and listen. People will show and tell you who they are early on. If don't like what you see/hear, move on.