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15yr old pregnant? any way to stop child support in Texas?

herewegoagain's picture

I know that normally this is not allowed...well, only in divorced families...argh...but has anyone been in this situation and actually had child support stopped in Texas? If you have, please let me know your lawyer's name, etc...this is just ridiculous...

FYI - been hearing for a while (from myspace) that DHs daughter's boyfriend now "sleeps" in her house with her...her mother sees these posts and they are not removed...so I am assuming it is true and not just something she's saying to tick off her dad...honestly, what decent mother would allow her 15yr old to post these things and ruin her own reputation...so a couple of months ago there was a "not preggo, but I still love her" from the boyfriend...now, there is a "6weeks preggo! yay! blah, blah..." My husband doesn't know...he's going to have a fit when he finds out tonight...I'll be telling him, as his daughter nor mother ever tell him anything that is negative about his messed up daughter...what a nightmare...for now I think we need to lay low, as I know that she might end up getting married and not tell him (ie. he COULD stop child support then), so at this point we'll just lurk on the internet until we find marriage records or something on her...I have a feeling it will happen, but then again the mom might just let her live with someone else and tell her she can keep the CS if she doesn't get married...so why get married...right? AMAZING! But I feel vindicated after years of telling DH that she was going down the wrong road and everyone blaming me (especially his family) for saying those things because I didn't love her, not because it was true...well, obviously it was...if they didn't see the signs, that's their problem...not mine...I just want this child support nightmare to stop...

Comments

DISbelief's picture

WHAT, she was trying to get pregnant??? And BM was allowing this to happen??? WTF??? File for full custody. A little background?? Do you see her at all? What is the custody agreement. WTF?? I am just in shock right now!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ Wink

stepmasochist's picture

I wouldn't want full custody now. The damage is done. Full custody would include finishing raising the daughter and now her bastard spawn. Like the movie Juno says, what more shenanigans can she get up to, she's already pregnant.

DISbelief's picture

True... kind of... I don't even know what to say. I am not sure what I would do here. Part of me would want to snatch her away and give her a GOOD life, find the baby a GOOD home, and hope she grows up in the process. No thanks to BM all that seems impossible. And part of me would want to completely write her off.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I don't have an answer for you, but I do wish you the best of luck in this. Ugh...

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ Wink

stepmasochist's picture

"But I feel vindicated after years of telling DH that she was going down the wrong road and everyone blaming me (especially his family) for saying those things because I didn't love her, not because it was true"

Doesn't it just suck that although you're right, it doesn't feel like it because now this kid has gone and eff'd up her life. It's such a double-edged sword for stepparents. Damned if we say something, damned if we don't.

herewegoagain's picture

My DH has told both SS & BM that if this were to ever happen, he would NOT take responsibility for their mistakes...they, incl. his daughter, are old enough to understand that...My DH (and I), both feel that he had plenty of time to help her, but BM refused...everytime we found out something was wrong, ie. failed school, etc...DH tried to talk to his daughter and BM basically told him to mind his own business...she turned his daughter against him and it caused OUR family much heartache...we are BROKE at this point thanks to that witch...we are NOT spending a dime trying to get custody of a daughter that is so messed up by now...my DH knows he did everything he could to make things right and both of them just shit on us...

BM is an idiot...has 2 other girls, has let her be on myspace since they were about 9-10, saying they were 14-15...allows her to miss school whenever she wants to, but buys her all kinds of stuff with the CS she gets from my DH...as of last December my DH tried to talk to his daughter once again and met her at school with counselors, teachers, etc...and she promised him she'd try harder, turn in her work, go to school and when DH has tried to call her because she did not follow up, BM has told him that she is at dance practice, with the boyfriend, etc...and will NOT let him talk to her...so, at this point, we are not going to take the burden off her...we have a child with autism who right now is not even in therapy because we are so broke and we are not going to throw any more money out the door to help her or BM when OUR child has suffered greatly because of them...

They had "joint" custody, which basically is worthless if she lives with BM, and it was joint with her having primary custody or whatever...we now live out of the country because we could no longer afford to live in the US because of the child support and all the financial chaos that BM has caused our family...we live in a two bedroom house, in the country, that was built by DH's stepdad on their backyard...just got a TV last week after being here almost 2mos, etc...we cannot afford it and will not get into this mess at this point...I know some may think it is wrong, but DH was a great father, who was there, who tried to do what was right and both BM and his daughter have treated him as a paycheck and only a paycheck...it's not fair for any of us to have to deal with a 15yr old preggo at this point...

herewegoagain's picture

stepmasochist, you are right...believe me that I tried so hard to have this child have a decent life...when we lived close "I" did everything I could...from taking her to Barnes and Noble to read books instead of dancing like a hoochie, to buying her appropriate clothes, movies, etc...vs. what she had at home, to talking to her about if she wanted to have a nice house she had to stay in school, etc...and the closer we got the more that BM pulled crap on us...and started throwing things around to DH's family about me, making things up, the whole PAS...until the daughter turned against me too and I my son was diagnosed with autism...at that point, I said "forget it!" Not my child...I had to concentrate on MY child now, which I did not do for a few years because of all the chaos that BM brought into our home...and well, it is sad in a way, you are right...

Also, back then I told DH plenty of times to try to get custody because I would NOT accept her once she was a preggo 15yr old drop-out...he agreed then...unless a BM is completely abusive there was no way we would get custody, and thus, after speaking with some lawyers realized it wasn't going to happen...now, sorry, but I can't and will NOT do it...if DH wants to do that because he's changed his mind, he can pack his stuff and move out...I'll move on with our son...but I know DH and he's a great person but once he is fed up, that is it...and this might just be it...

Sia's picture

FYI in most states, a pregnant teen is now emancipated and uneligible for CS!

wishing upon a star's picture

Wow 15 yrs old, she is so young. I really feel for you and your husband. I was 18 yrs old when I decided to have my baby. Yes she was planned and all, and it was hard. I had the support from my mom and dad. I hope you will be there for her. She is only a child that has been brainwashed by her BM and I don’t mean financial but emotionally. I hope your DH takes it well. Be there for him and support his decisions.

~Life's a Journey-So take a deep breath and enjoy the ride~

bearcub25's picture

I feel for you DH. My BF is gonna face the same thing and worse with his 3.

As for the CS, if it doesn't stop, I just count down the months until the oldest is 18, then I'll start over with the next 2.

herewegoagain's picture

Where we come from the pregnancy of a 15yr old is NOT something to celebrate...we both grew up knowing that if we did get pregnant/got someone else pregnant our life would then be dedicated to supporting ourselves and our child...if you want to make adult decisions, you behave like an adult...and we both believe this. The reason these kids get pregnant is because they know that mommy and/or daddy will support them, if they thought their parents would make them work for everything and no longer support them, they would NOT get pregnant...

My DH has always supported his child...if she has decided to act like an adult, she should accept adult consequences...if you support a child with this, soon she'll be having child number 2...

By the way, I always believed he should support his child...again at 15 and preggo, she should be responsible for herself...just as thousands of women 20-30-35 yrs ago were when they married/had kids at 15...

herewegoagain's picture

Pretty much realize that just beause she's preggo, since she is the child of divorce, she gets to continue with being supported...sigh...no I do not agree, neither does DH...

By the way, I understand that support and all that other stuff if this was a good kid, who regularly attended school, got good grades, didn't have a different boyfriend every other month, etc...and this has been going on for at least 3+ years...and oops! she got preggo...but that is not the case...she wanted to get pregnant, she is thrilled she is pregnant...DH had a heart to heart with her in December and she swore to him that she was not sleeping around and then a month later she's posting that she may be preggo, that she's so happy, etc...so there really isn't any "support" that can happen right now...she probably won't even tell DH, since he told her in December that if she did get preggo, he would NOT support her or her decision...while of course, BM always said she would...thus the reason she sees nothing wrong with what she's done...

Financially that baby is NOT my DH's responsibility...it is her boyfriend's responsibility and BM who allowed this to happen by allowing her to go out of town with her boyfriend and have him sleep over at her house...so no, there should also not be a bigger financial burden placed on OUR family because of their decisions...sorry, not going to happen...Our child has special needs and he will no longer continue to suffer the consequences of BM and her daughter...

The ONLY times that his daughter calls him or answers his calls is when she wants him to send her extra money...otherwise she ignores his calls and never calls back...so, well, maybe she'll grow up. As far as her flipping burgers and being on welfare, well, again, sorry, it shouldn't happen since her boyfriend should support the child...just like DH has had to support HER and BM...