School and avoidance
So, SS10's school district has had theee options this year: fully in-school, fully remote, combo of the two. SS has been doing the remote option.
I can't say I think very highly of it because it seems like they actually work about 20% of the day and are otherwise on a break. Also, DH figured out that SS was rushing through assignments and playing video games, resulting in low grades on assignments. (Solved by saying if he doesn't have As or high Bs, no screen time during breaks.) Anyway, DH has mentioned numerous times he's not really impressed with it all.
Thing is, DH now has a fully remote job and he likes not having to drive SS to school (about a 40-minute drive round-trip) every other week. I get it. But SS is an only child. He's said multiple times that he would rather be in school. He's missing out on some very important components of education by being so isolated.
It's not my problem. DH and BM get to decide that. Home or not, it really doesn't impact my life (my job is partially remote at the moment but I'm never expected to deal with SS's schooling), other than I think it's a shame for SS to miss out and possibly end up socially backwards because his dad doesn't want to drive him to school. Makes me look at DH with a less-favorable eye.
I think it's yet another sign of DH's enmeshment and overidentification with SS. DH loves working from home. Therefore, he expects SS to as well.
I'm keeping my mouth shut. I just think DH isn't really considering what's best for SS.
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Comments
Yeah, that's seriously
Yeah, that's seriously selfish on DH's part.
Can't say I'm too surprised.
Can't say I'm too surprised. I've noticed with both BM and DH that neither one really wants to put in effort or "deal with" things. Neither one wants to upset SS so they'll give in or avoid the truth until they can't anymore. Example: a couple of years ago, SS thought school was ending on a certain day -- three weeks before the real last day. He kept mentioning two days, etc., and had apparently done so at BM's too. She didn't correct him. DH didn't correct him. Finally I told DH SS needed to be set straight so he told him and showed him a calendar -- cue crying.
SS has no clue how to make his bed because DH didn't want to go through the ordeal. I'm the one who taught SS how to tie his shoes, make a PB&J and found a good swim teacher. If I hadn't, he'd still have his parents tying his shoes and would have to wear floaties at the pool.
From what I've been told, SS was a difficult baby and toddler (massive tantrums) and I think they got in the habit of appeasement to avoid unpleasantness. They also give off vibes of people who, if they had to do it over, wouldn't have kids.
It's too bad for SS, since he's the one who suffers for it. Can't say I like him much -- too spoiled and entitled for my taste -- but it's not his fault, really.
You have described my SD10s
You have described my SD10s BM and (sometimes) DH perfectly! It's sad that sometimes NEITHER one of them seem like they want to "deal" with SD. It's sad for the kid, but you can't change lousy/permissive parenting.
Lazy parents drive me crazy.
Lazy parents drive me crazy. The bottom line when raising kids is pay now or pay later. DS was difficult from birth until about 10. Yes is was exhausting, but now I have an amazing well behaved child who is very mature for his age and doing well in all areas.
SKs on the other hand were pacified thier whole lives and they are mouthy, disrespectful, poor functioning teens, heading to become poor functioning adults.