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Probably not much to do with this site, but...

h7's picture

...my mother finally told me that when I was an infant I was in foster care. I knew I was born sick & in the hospital a couple days with my mother there the whole time. Seems I was sicker than I thought. I was in the hospital for about a month & in foster care for another month or so, until I was healthy. So I had a mother, a father, 2 sets of grandparents who were well off, loads of aunts & uncles on my father's side, loads of great aunts & uncles & loads of cousins on my mother's side, all of whom had their lives together, but I had to be given to a stranger until I was 'perfect.' So the thing of my family bailing on me when I needed them the most has apparently gone on longer than I can remember. And this feeling of my needs being an inconvenience to others has a tangible root. It certainly explains a lot.

Yeah, I'm a little angry, but not surprised at all.

Comments

Colorado Girl's picture

doesn't a parent need to be deemed unfit to have their child placed in foster care? I don't think I understand. I wouldn't think a person would be able to have foster parents babysit and nuture a child back to health and when the parents were ready to take the child back, they just pick them up after that. Sounds like there may be more to the story to me....

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

h7's picture

She told me it wasn't through the state, it was through a charity. So it wasn't official foster care because I wasn't in the system. It was theoretically the same though. Someone else took me into their home after I left the hospital, brought me back for check ups & nursed me to good health. My mother said she visited me every Friday so I know she was able to go back & forth. The thing is, I think she was living with her parents & didn't even have a job. We haven't discussed this further mainly because I just don't want to know. I don't want to hear pathetic excuses for why grown people who could afford it wouldn't take care of an infant. Just handed me over to strangers. It would just piss me off more.

Hipi

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

Most Evil's picture

d

h7's picture

Yeah, since I hit 32 I've been thinking a lot about adoption... specifically adoption from foster care. After watching a program Friday I told my mother I've always known I wanted to adopt from foster care as long as I can remember. And that's when she told me. She was reluctant & it hit me like a ton of bricks. She called me first thing the very next morning & I let her know I was fine & that we were fine. I'm feeling everything right now. I think the reason she never told me was that she was afraid I would resent her for it. I'm upset, but I don't resent her. I know she was messed up & her life was messed up. I don't hold her completely accountable... there were other people in my family that could have lent a helping hand. But I know she's really insecure about how she brought me up, because I have confronted her about my first step father.

This does bring up a good point... maybe no one was willing to give her a helping hand because she was so messed up. She WAS the black sheep of the family. And really, it would be so typical of them.

Really, it hit me hard & it upset me for now, but it hasn't stolen my joy. Thank goodness.

Hipi

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

Most Evil's picture

d

Angel's picture

is a bitch.
"Sometimes I wish your fertility could last until you have more experience in life."
She gives kids to people when they shouldn't have them. She gives human beings (females) the DESIRE for those cute little babies at a very young age but doesn't let us see the reality & havoc they cause. Oh, what a bitch.