I don't think it's right at all. You are entitled to have a relationship with your mother in whatever way you two see fit. I do think there are plenty of stepparents who probably feel the way your stepdad does and that is sad. Look around at all of the posts. There are some great stepparents trying hard to love and teach but there are just as many not wanting to consider a relationship with the "first" children at all. Some steps are justifiable in doing so, many are not. I believe when you marry someone with children they are also your responsibility. Do you have to love them? No, but it helps. What you have to do is respect their place (and vice-versa). Your stepdad should respect you as his wife's daughter. You respect him as your stepdad even though you don't like him. Hell, you even try to figure out why he acts the way he does and that's awesome!

Hope this helps

First of all, I just adore you so I want to only be helpful. But, I need a little more information about the situation.

Did you recently move back in with your parents?
How long has it been?
Do you have plans to move out on your own?
How old are you?
What is he doing to attempt to make you go away?
Have you discussed this with your mom?
If so what does she say?

Answer these and I'll try to formulate some feedback.

and to put it honestly your Stepdad is a dweeb. He's just selfish and controlling and wants your mom all to himself. My mom is one of my best friends and we talk ALL the time. At least once or twice a day. If anyone tried to come in between my mom and myself and "wish me away", he would get an earful from my end.

I encourage "daddy" time with my skids ALL the time. They need it and so does he. I would never try to break up that bond and I know sometimes I need to just "step" out of the way.

So tell him that Colorado Girl thinks he's a douche bag....Just kidding.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Okay. I hear insecurity all over the place. Mom, Dad, and maybe a little you. I think you are very wise, and talented but you don't trust yourself, and you should.

My Dad almost uses my relationship with my Mom so that he doesn't have to stay on the phone or go on outings that are not interesting to him. So I have the opposite situation with my folks but they are both mine, still married.

Also, the whole mechanics thing sounds like a hillbilly who thinks the world is flat.

Sometimes things are just as they are. Old guys don't change. Neither do young too often but you know what they say about old dogs.

I've had friends who's husbands/ boyfriends seemed jealous about outside relationships. When I call I always say "hi 'Joe' this is Kelly, how are you? Hey is 'Jane' home?" and let her deal. Make plans with her, and let her deal. It is not as you would like and it kind of looks like your mom is sad, and stays for the wrong reasons. You see this but she doesn't.

This is your challenge, as an adult, to formulate whatever relationship works for you and accept what is. I'm sorry you didn't have the white picket fence life.

But, we love you!

p.s. any consolation my brother is a Doctor. If I ever ask him for medical advice, he tells me to see a doctor. I thought I just did?????

"From a step parent's point of view, do you think that is right?"

Obviously, I don't know you as well as some of the other ladies on here, but from a purely stepparent's pov, of course it's not right. It is never right to make a child, even an adult child, feel like they are in anyway not loved and valued by their bio parent. Nothing could be more devestaing to any of us to think our parents don't love us, don't value being with us, and don't value fighting for our right to love each other, no matter what.

It seems to me that it is your mother's place to insist on that right with your SF.

My BM should be insisting on that right. Instead she is moving hundreds of miles away from my SD at 15 years old. As a stepmother, how to you reconcile that kind of betrayal. How do you allow your stepdaughter the right to love her mother, no matter what? And yet, I'm going to have to do just that. I'm going to have to allow my SD to love her mother even if she is crappy in my judgement of her.

Perhaps it isn't a step/bio issue. Perhaps it has to do with just responsible parenting.

But how do you help someone survive this. Especially if they are an adult. If it were a child things would be more severe. But poor Hippie needs help with dealing with an unchangeable situation. We don't know what is going on with her mom or step dad but things don't feel right to Hippie. So I only suggest ways to preserve her sanity and sense of self.

He needs to remember that he may not always be your mothers' husband, but you will always be your mothers' daughter.

Selfish clod.

You will always be your mothers daughter and your mother will always be your mother. That relationship is different than their relationship. There may be some legitimate (hear me out first) jealousy issues because there will be things the two of you share that they will never share but its also vice versa -- they have things they share that you and your mother will not.

I think there may be issues that the three of you need to work out -- coming back to live in the same house (even for a short time). I have a brother who is seven years older than me who lives at home. Ack. Its tough and I could never do what he is doing.

Take it one day at a time, I think you are doing fine.

Kevin