I have been a stepmom to 2 grown up kids for 13 yrs now and I have 2 younger kids. Although my situation is slightly different, and some might say not as terrible as others, I still have some issues to deal with. My husband had a bitter divorce, and the ex told many lies to her sons. My husband decided to file for divorce & the settlement was done separately. He met me, we fell inlove and got married while he was still dealing with the settlement issues. They also agreed to be open about everything that will affect their kids. So my husband told his sons that he was getting married.