Back in 2008, before DH and I were married, we were planning on going to my country (Dominican Republic) where all my family lives. We wanted to take SD (who was 4) but BM claimed that she had heard a lot of bad stuff about the country and she didn't want her going there. She made other negative remarks about my country (where I lived until I was 18). We ended up NOT going (for other reasons) and we haven't been able to do so. So now we are planning on going this summer. Every time DH tells BM about it, he tells me that she is never really convinced and she always says, "she needs more details". DH even told me that it was better if SD6 didn't go so we wouldn't have to deal with her mother and it would be cheaper. But I refused, I want SD6 to meet my family, and my family wants to meet her as well. I wanted to go all of us as a family.

So last night, after dropping SD6 off at her mom's, DH tells me that she said she still needs more info. So this morning I sent her the following e-mail:

BM,

In regards to the trip we are planning to DR, I just wanted to let you know that we are not savages from a village that attack each other for food. We are NOT Haiti, we are not even Colombia...
That being said, if we do go, we will be staying at my mother's house which is in a middle/upper class residential area called "(insert name of area)".

If you are worried about the people that reside in the house, they are all women.
My mother
My older sister
My 9 year old little sister
The Maid, for the most part
An annoying chihuhua dog
A dumb cat.

There is an alarm system and a security guard at the main door 24/7...

Of course, there IS crime in DR, if you go walk to a ghetto neighborhood with high poverty levels, late at night, you are probably going to get robbed, and stabbed to death; which will not be our case. As a matter of fact we won't be walking anywhere, we won't even use public transportation; we will be using the private cars owned by my family.

My family really wants to meet SD6, and I want her to meet them. She is important to me and I want her to see where I come from, where I grew up.
If we do go, this experience will be one of a kind for her because not every 7 year old gets to go to another country. Her understanding of the world will broaden and she will have a better grasp of how different another country can be. She will learn about a new culture and some Spanish for sure, too!

(If we do go) Before we leave we will give you the complete address, along with the phone number. We will make sure that she calls you to let you know when we arrive at the house from the airport. We will give you the flight number so you can check its status online. And to communicate, we can buy phone cards so you can have consistent communication the rest of our stay there. Or, if you have skype, maybe you and SD6 can talk AND see each other several times. Of course, email will be available as well.

Any other specific concerns, just let me know.

Gia

WELL, she sent me this email back:

Thank you very much Gia, for emailing me. I don't think you and your family are savages. All I wanted was the address. I told DH I would expect him to ask me for the same information if I was going to take SD6 to Arizona or California where J (BM's boyfriend) family is. SD6 likes Skype so she will enjoy that.

Thanks

BM

Well I sent an email to DH telling him that if i would have known that she only needed the address that email would have been two sentences long, and he admitted that she did ask for the address... WTH? he said, she wanted more details of the area, whatever...

So, he came home and told me that he went to my email and read the email i sent her and said that it was a little bit aggressive. I got mad because after all she has said about me and about my country, I could have at least been a little bit sarcastic. Not to mention that I did give her the details i thought she needed. I also told him that I do care that SD is going and that's why I took the time to write a relatively long email, I told him that I could have not cared but I do, and he was like "and if you didn't care we would have a problem". I told him that if I didn't care about her not going, she wouldn't go because i wouldn't be stupid enough to say, " I Don't care if SD goes or not", but I told him that when he said he thought it was better if SD didn't go, I could have been like "Ok, your decision", but I didn't. I insisted that I wanted to go all of us or nothing. Now we are fighting because he keeps saying that he is not on her side or anything but my email was RUDE. And I am mad at him for nor appreciate that I am actually willing to give her all the necessary info and encourage communication for the two weeks that we will be gone. I told him that I could have been a bitch and be like "Ok, I'm not going to give her all the details, if she doesn't trust her to be with her dad that that is her problem..."