I am engaged to FDH, and yes it has bothered me the whole time. However, I decide to just roll my eyes and move on. I can understand her keeping it b/c she wants the same name as Scooty (SD5). I personally believe it should work like this: Divorced w/ no kiddos, then female goes back to her maiden name. Divorced w/ kids, then BM can keep her married name until she remarries in the future. That's just how I feel though!

"Live well, Love much, Laugh often."

burns my ass, too!!! fortunately, DH hates it and her as well..... in hindsight, we should have made it part of divorce decree..... i kept my maiden name ater married b/c i didn't want to share last name with her affectionately referred to as FFC..

i don't feel as petty feeling this way now --- thanks guys!

I really don't like it that BM has his last name, but if I divorced my husband I would keep his last name because that is my kids' last name too. I just hope for the day when she will find a man that is as crazy as her and will actually be crazy enough to marry her crazy arse so she can take HIS last name.

Drives me nuts, only because she says we are now "sisters" since we share a last name. THAT is what drives me nuts. CREEPPPYYYY. Oh, and when we were fighting once before DH and I got married she was sure to change her voice mail to say her first and last name, and when she would call and leave nasty messages she said her full name. DUH, I know who you are. That is why when she is pissing me off, I call her by her maiden name. Even in casual conversation. I make it a POINT to call her by her maiden name.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

When my mom and dad divorced, my mom kept my dad's last name because she wanted to keep the same last name as my sister and I. I can understand wanting to keep that connection with your children. On the other hand, my FH's ex never took his name, so I don't have the challenge of dealing with that personally. I guess I can just see both sides on this one.

I am remarried and I can tell you for me personally, I hate having a different last name as perfectson. I often wish I had kept EH's name until perfectson was out of school.... its just a pain in the ass.

BM still has the last name. They were only married a year and she kept it. The funny thing is, when I looked at the divorce papers, they reinstated her to her maiden name. But she never changed it with the SS administration and just kept his.

I hate it. But she's never going to find someone dumb enough to marry her so for the rest of our lives she'll be the dimwit with our last name, long after her daughter is married.

I do but I also get the she wants to have the same last name as her daughter. We actually brought this up to an attorney because the divorce agreement legally put her name back to her maiden name but she doesn't use it. BF asked if there was any way to force her to use it and there's nothing that can be done about it. I'm looking at it now as she may have the same last name that I hope to have someday but I'll be the best & last Mrs. ****

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

I currently have my Ex's last name still. It has absolutely nothing to do with him and everything to do with my kids. If BF and I got married, I would more than likely hyphenate. I just can't stand the thought of carrying a last name with the skids but not my own flesh and blood. Maybe if their Father was in their lives, it would be a little different....but I'm all they have.

BM had Ex's last name before she got remarried. She has children with both BF and her current husband. I do often wonder which last name she would keep if her and current hubby got divorced.

___________________________________________________________________________
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

BM kept the last name, maybe for the sake of the kids and to avoid the hassle of changing.

I kept my maiden name, partly because of the hassle of changing and partly because I was pissed that the Ex still had his name, and also because, it was all or nothing for me, I hate the hyphenating. More and more I'm enjoying having my name because it signifies my individuality even though I am married.

I sometimes contemplate changing it later on, when I've been Mrs. DH longer than the Ex ONLY because it bothers DH to no end that I didn't take his name. I think it might be a great anniversary present for him someday. Our child together has DH's last name and my last name as a middle name so that she can choose to use it if she wants or make it an inital when it's not needed.

If bf and I get married, we will both be changing our last names LOL He will take back his maiden name, and I will probably take on his name then, if I can't keep my maiden name (don't want him taking my father's name, either!). No way in hell I'd take his ex's last name!

Another situation where the X may keep the name of their former spouse doctorate degreed professionals. Their professional name recognition is a valuable commodity that may be at risk with a name change.

I have friends who have this to deal with. Some from the perspective of retaining their maiden names after marriage because that is what their MD degree is under and some because their MD is under a former spouses last name.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)