I know this site is for venting, however, when happy stuff happens, it should be mentioned too I think.

2 days after BF and skids came home from vacation, he sent me a text asking, "if we get the house cleaned up and in order, what do you think about seeing if things will work better in that environment"

:jawdrop:

Ok, I was a bit stunned and had to read it like 10 times. I called him back and we talked for a while. He was at work. We talked on and off for a few hours. I told him that even though he is ready for me to stay, I still have concerns, he asked what concerns and I said, "parenting for one, and balance of power as the other" I did not elaborate on them. Well, he has stepped up. In a big way.

BF came home from vacation a different man. I am not sure if something happened with sure if something happened with SD11 or not, but he is treating her differently. VERY differently. He is no longer putting her above the other kids. I noticed first when Sunday night (the day of the text) he would not let SD11 but into a conversation, even one with another kid. The first time he did it (he just ignored that she had said something at all) I thought maybe he did not hear her. The next time she did it, he did the same. I knew then he was doing it on purpose. He would acknowledge her AFTER he was done talking to the other person, so he was not ignoring her all together. He was showing her that she is not the all important golden child he has made her.

Last night was another instance of this. We have all heard the entries on here where the skid does not tell us good night, but will to Dad... well, that happened last night. She said, "Good night Daddy" while I was standing right next to him. I said, "Good night SD11" and she did reply... that is usually what I expect and just go on with life. He went into her room after her, I thought to tuck her in... (she is almost 12...) I went into my room and started playing on the computer. A few moments later, she came in with a frown on her face and gave me a hug and said "Good night Freedom" I hugged her back, shocked.

I have opted not to say anything to BF about these things. I have told him I have noticed some behavior changes that I am hoping do not stop. He wants me to stay. He is working feverishly on the house. He wants to make our room a sanctuary for us. Now this is the guy that told his kids that they only had to knock on our bedroom door when I was in there. If it was just him, they could walk right in.

Basically, over the last week, he has tried to "fix" a lot of the things I have complained about over the last year.

OH, AND... our fight that brought on the "moving out" was started by me saying we did not spend time together with out kids. He got pissed and said I needed to leave. Now he says that we should make sure to go out, just us, once a week.

I guess the thought of me moving out was a wake up call. So far, I have back the guy I started dating. I do have to wonder though, how long will it last? Just last night I had a dream about him telling me to move out again. I am not ready to just lay down and say I am staying. I am still protecting myself. I would have to say though, he is making a very compelling argument for me to stay. He is wooing me, and I love it.

I am still treading cautiously. It will take some time for him to prove his worth back to me. I am keeping hold of several thousand dollars from my tax return in case I decide to move still.

I have to admit though... I have NOT seen him parent her like this.... EVER! 5 years... never seen it more than for a few days. Maybe it is getting through to him after being alone with them for a week that they think he revolves around them. He did complain that THEY complained a lot. They were visiting his grandmother, who is very ill, and in and out of the hospital while he was there. She came home the night he got there and was suppose to go back in on Monday. The hospital called and said she would not have to go back in until Wednesday, the day before he was to leave to come home. He told me how SD11 was upset she was staying because he decided to stay home with her instead of taking SD11 and SS14 out to have fun. He mentioned it... he was upset about it. Another instance he told me about... the 3 of them were playing kick ball. He stopped to talk to his aunt. Both of his kids got on him because he was not playing with him. He said, "I came here to visit with my family, that is what I am going to do, you all play together."

Change.... it is nice....