So last night while SD7 was over DH and I sat down with her and explained how she is getting a big bed and we would like to got through her old big toys that she is too 'big' for now. The only ones I asked her about were the ones meant for 2-4 year olds. She piled up some of the stuff SHE wanted to get rid of (a lot of it was the big stuff so I was feeling proud at this point). After we were finished, I tried to make the first haul out to the car. It did not go over well. SD7 flipped out and started crying and screaming saying that now she did NOT want to get rid of these things and I HAVE to put them back in her room RIGHT NOW. DH tried telling her that she chose these toys to donate/sell. She wasn't having it. She continued to yell and scream, throw things, hit walls, broke one of my Willow Tree angels, etc. So I dumped what I was carrying right in the middle of the living room and left. I text DH and told HIM to handle HIS DAUGHTER and that if those toys were not out of our house by the time I got home I was leaving. I didn't care where they went at that point just as long as they weren't in OUR HOUSE.
I went to WalMart because the roads were cruddy and I didn't want to waste gas just driving around. (I usually go to WalMart just to wander sometimes) Whilst there, I saw one of the hedgehog dog toys that my pug LOVES but his was 2 years old and looking pretty raggedy. So I picked him up a new one (and I did throw out his old one, and he did NOT throw a fit over it). When I got home and gave it to him, SD7 says "Why didn't you get me anything? You never buy me anything. You're a stepstupid, not a stepmom." Oh boy...I probably overreacted but at this point I'd had it with her and DH. I told her no I didn't buy her anything because right now she has enough toys, and no room for anything new. I also told her that I would not buy her anything else, ever, until she can learn to be grateful for what she has.
In the past 4 years I've been with DH, I have spent around 50,000 of MY OWN MONEY (my xmas bonus is used on her every year, I'd like to use it to buy things for myself or our home). DH has not ever bought her a single gift with his own money, I buy all of it. So I told DH that I am done, she wants something, either she buys it or he does but it had best not effect our bill money. I bought the dog a new toy for the first time since we GOT HIM and it cost 3.97. I'm not trying to be selfish, but I haven't bought any new clothes since DH and I have been together unless it came from Goodwill. Just once I'd like to buy something that was never used/worn.
So I am done. Done trying to get her a new bed, done buying her anything, just done. I called the furniture store first thing this morning and cancelled the order for the bed. She can sleep on what she has until she is ready to part with some things, and until she does, she gets nothing new. And for birthday and xmas, all she is getting is rubbermaids to put all of her sh*t in.
I know it seems harsh, but SHE picked out the toys SHE wanted to give away and SHE said SHE would like to see some other girl like them like SHE did. But the second I try to put the project on the move, she, like DH, flipped out.