Haven't post for a while. The past 3 weeks has been hard. Because the school has closed all the way till Summer possibly, we are stuck at home with the kids. I'll admit even just with my own it's hard, and it doesn't really matter how sweet DD9 is. But stuck home with SS12 (ASD+ADHD) is even harder. It's almost impossible for both DH and I to work from home because the challenges the kids presents.

We have been putting them both on schedules, but really, because the teachers now also have to work from home with their kids, it's impossible for them to be giving lectures at the normal hours. That means if we don't keep an eye out on what they do, kids will just take advantage of it. AND that's exactly what happened.

SS has been just watching videos and reading comic books online in the name of "remote learning." We only found this out because SS is not tech savvy. There has been countless arguments because he also refuses to listen. (But he'd accuse me to be the one "not listening," how funny) Teaching him necessary technical skill is also difficult because this is a person who has literally no understanding, but thinks he knows EVERYTHING. As a result, it's only natural that he is not listening. I freaking hate his arrogant a$$ very much. 

The only good thing that came out from this is that DH finally sees how this kid treats me differently than how he would to his dad. (I don't blame SS to treat me differently, but I do blame him for always starting the conversation with yelling.) We had only come to this because dad finally get to see it first hand how his son would accuse me of things I did not say when I ask a simple yes/no question (e.g. Did you turn in your history homework?). He definitely doesn't have the balls to do the same to his dad.

I don't really care he's on the spectrum or not. Obviously if you can show respects to one person you are also capable to do the same to another. Not proud, but this week I told SS, if he can't follow the rules here, he's welcome to pack everything he owns here (including the computer he doesn't own) and move to his mom's. I am fine paying for his moving. We both would be more pleasant seeing each other if we only need to see each other twice a year. In reality though, this is of course not happening because BM doesn't even want to see her own son. Although I'm at the point where I'm willing to pay her child support to get this kid out of my house...(No DH won't agree to it so I don't even bother to ask)

I'm probably not being very coherent now...It's been very tiring. DH has done his part, the problem is that we BOTH are very tired and need a break from the kid, but there seems to have no way out (especially no one can go anywhere right now). I voiced my concern of SS not being able to live on his own in the future (because he's completely lack of common sense, no matter how much we explain things and train him to do house work), and that my fear of being stuck with him when he's no longer a kid. DH is certain this is not happening...but without seeing anything changes it's just not convincing.

Sigh.