Should I be flattered or demand counceling
My husband and I have now been married for almost two years. We are expecting our first child this August. He has a 6 year old son form previous marriage. First marriage ended after he caught wife having an affair with her boss of three years. He built a brand new huge ranch house and him and ex moved in Dec and he filed for divorce in March after catching her with boss. He met me two month later in May and we have been together since. His dovorce was rather drawn out since all she wanted was money and equity from the new house. Bottom line she got nothing and he got 50/50 care of son.
Since we have been together ex has not had any boyfriends just the married boss coming around every once in awhile. This is where things get a little odd. It started out that everything we did together as a family (with his son) the next week on her weeks they did the exact same thing. If we went swimming, they went swimming. If we went to a certain restuarant they went, she even went as far as to take the son on the same vacation we did. At first we just started calling her, "Johnny Come Lately" since she couldn't do anything or come up with anything on her own. She would even go as far as to get pissed at us if we took him to a movie before she got to. (Big blow up when Cars came out)
Then things with her got freaky. I do live in the house that she lived in for three months before being kicked out. I have went in and totally changed things (paint, wallpaper, gardening, etc...to my taste) Plus since the house was brand new a lot wasn't even finished. She bought a plain split foyer in town. I have never been inside but have seen the outside when we drop son off. She would never let my husband in her home either. He usually just stood out on the steps. Now she has been inside out home and I guess I never really noticed how bad she would eyeball our stuff. Son had to have tonsils out and it fell on her week. Husband went over to visit him in her home. My husband came home and told me everything that she did to her home that is exactly like ours. Same wallpaper and paint color in kitchen, same carpet, same furniture, same curtains. Then I really started to take notice. One Sunday when she dropped off son I was outside putting in lanscaping lights. Next week she had landscaping lights. My husband and I dug up all the mulch around the house and put in rock. She did the same the next week. My husband and I put lanscaping blocks in a circle on the right side of house with a japenese maple tree. the next week she had the same with the same damn tree in the same damn spot.
the final straw was this woman has always been a natural blonde and even goes as far as to put highlites in it. I have auburn hair. She walked into a sports function of the son's and had colored her hair auburn. My husband has now band her from coming to our home. He told her that she is a little freaky was his words. She claims that she has no idea what he is talking about and everything she has done to her home is stuff she likes too or her ideas. Now should I be flattered by all this and realize that she is a very immature woman or should I suggest some serious counceling??? Has anyone every seen the movie "Single White Female?"
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hmm
That really is bizarre! Sounds like A) she's off-balanced, or
she wants to do anything to please your DH (maybe she still has feelings for him?), or C) both. If it were me, I'd distance myself from this lady as much as possible, but also document anything too weird or unhealthy. Good luck!
Doctor
I would suggest that there are doctors for people like her and give her a list of phone numbers. Maybe you could highlight the one you think is best and she might use that one seeing that you would use that one if you had her problems.
Ellen
Fearless, you're on to something!
How about getting a super-short jet black wig... nothing crazy, just very different and very short. Then when she cuts off all her hair and dyes it black, you get to be you and she's stuck with it until she has the color removed and lets it grow out.
~ Anne ~
OK, I would find that
OK, I would find that freaky. They do say Imitation is the sincerest form of Flattery but this is weird. Besides do we want the ex copying everything we do...I think not!!!! She would definitely freak me out. Not sure if you can make her see what she is doing is crazy. You may just have to try and ignore it unless it gets dangerous.
Good luck with this one.
lol
I guess there is a serious side to your situation, but you also have to laugh out loud when you think about all the work that went into matching patterns...lol..I am still giggling. From my own experience beware of coming out to her face and questioning her sanity. But considering this women still has the boss as a play toy, and hasn't found someone new, it doesn't sound like she has much else to do...poor girl and immature for sure.. The hair thing is definetly a little over the edge...how old is this women? Our x#2 has gone to extremes when it comes to doing things first...she even tried to lie about when shrek2 was out at the theatre to be sure that she could take her son and friends to it, despite the fact it was decided a month prior we would all go together the day it was out...my ss and bio daughter share the same birthday...poor girl ended up seeing the show friday and sunday....lol back to your situation...sorry...it should give you a good laugh today when you are enjoying valentines with your dh...
very extreme
We've had Bm copy us too but never to the extreme that you describe. That does sound really weird! It sounds like she does have some major issues. Keep an eye on her for sure. It sounds like she is losing it.
Dawn
Someone sounds a little "coo-coo"!
This is too funny...super weird, but still a little comical! I've gone through this with the ex, too, but no where near to this extreme. She obviously has no life, probably regrets what she gave up, and just tries to mirror everything you and your hubby do to give herself some weird type of satisfaction - if that makes sense?
In my situation, hubby built his house on family land while he was still married. She lived in it for maybe a full year when they split. Since the house was on his family's land and it was more of his dream than hers, she left and he kept the house. When she bought her new place, she had every room painted and decorated like the house they built. I thought that was weird - if it had been me, I would have wanted to start fresh. Whatever. Plus her taste was horrible - she has zero decorating skills. So after BF and I had been dating several months, he started asking my opinions on the house and we ended up redecorating everything - painted all the rooms, bought new furniture, everything. BM has only been inside once since we changed everything and I wasn't there (before we were married). Hubby said one of the girls let her in and he didn't know it and she had made her way into the living room, I'm sure just to snoop around. As jealous as she is though, I'm sure she was pissed when she left - our house looks completely different than it did the first time I went in there and it looks really good.
Same thing goes for the yard...I planted a bunch of pansies back in November. So she came over to get the girls and had to have seen them. Well about a month later, we had to go pick the girls up from her house and guess what? She had planted pansies! I think it's just funny and it's all competition to her. I really could care less.
Do you watch The Young & The Restless? I must admit that your story sort of reminded me of the recent Sheila Carter story. Where she made that nursery to look identical to Lauren's baby's nursery and then changed her hair and had plastic surgery to look like Phyllis?? that was so FREAKY! LOL!
I would keep this BM at a distance, that's for sure. I wouldn't allow her in the house at all and try to limit the visits she has to make to your house. Our BM only came to our house about a total of 4 times last year. We usually pick the kids up from after school care and take them to school in the mornings, so we get to avoid seeing her.
Are you sure we aren't
Are you sure we aren't talking about the same woman???? The pansies kill me. I planted a bunch of prennials and some I had to hunt down at specialty nurseries (not just at Wal-Mart) and by God she planted the same ones. Yes it is a competition and the funny thing is I'm not playing.