It wasn't easy. BM made us feel fine about it though... she asked DH to give her BOYFRIEND a lift to the hospital, then told him to leave and come back later. Karma smacked her in the face pretty quickly though, her boyfriend told her that was a bitch move and two hours later DH and I got a call asking us to pick him up because he had broken up with her.

I think he's done too much indulging her and not enough guiding. My belief is that after the age of 15, you become more of a guide/counselor as a parent than someone who tells a kid what to do. Of course, if said kid is still completely financially dependent on you, then you get more of a say.

This dad needs to step up and say "I am happy to pay for your college and living expenses as I have done for the last two years. However, I will not do so if you continue to make poor choices and do poorly in school. I will not pay for you to take your classes over because you have failed them, especially since you're failing due to your partying and lack of focus. If you want to party your way through school and fail classes, you can finance this yourself." She NEEDS him to stand up to her and be a real father. And it's not too late to set boundaries.