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Is there any proper way to respond to asinine questions?

Elizabeth's picture

Some of the posts on here have me flashing back to when SD (now 21) still lived with us and all the sh*t I had to put up with. Below are my three favorites. In any case, no matter what I said, it was the "wrong" thing, according to DH. I think the only thing that would have made him happy was for me to drop what I was doing and have a frank, thoughful and thorough discussion with SD on every occasion. Sorry buddy, not happening!

1. Never being able to find her own father (but always able to find me, explain that) in our house. Which led to me being asked approximately 1,234,567 times a day: "Where is my dad?"

2. Having the deductive reasoning powers of a snail. I am in the kitchen browning hamburger. I have taco shells, taco seasoning, shredded cheese and a can of refried beans next to me, lettuce, tomatos and green onions I am chopping up. Which naturally leads SD to say: "What's for dinner?"

3. Being unable to follow along with the plot, story line or characters during any movie, resulting in SD asking DH a constant stream of questions that were answered 10 seconds ago if she'd been paying attention or will be answered in the next 10 seconds except SD talking over the movie and DH answering her in a long-winded reply covered up the dialogue.

Admittedly my own kids do "some" of this, but not near as bad as SD was. Plus, I can say to my own kids:
1. I don't know. He pulled out the tracking device I had implanted. He could be anywhere by now.
2. Roadkill. Hope you like armadillo.
3. Sit still, be quiet and pay attention and all your questions will be answered.

Comments

Shaman29's picture

You can say the same things to SD21:

1. I don't know. He pulled out the tracking device I had implanted. He could be anywhere by now.
2. Roadkill. Hope you like armadillo.
3. Sit still, be quiet and pay attention and all your questions will be answered.

H used to walk in while I was cooking/washing dishes/reading/watching TV and ask me what I'm doing. My answer was always the same.....I'm baking cookies. What the Eff does it look like I'm doing?? If you're trying to start a conversation with me, then how about "Can I help you with that?" "Do you want me to set the table?" "Would you like me to dry the dishes?" Or best yet...."You're reading/watching TV...sorry. I'll be quiet."

I've learned these are mostly incredibly poor attempts to start a conversation.

Elizabeth's picture

Unfortunately, no, because if I ever tried to reply like that to SD it would cause a big argument/fight with DH. He said I was "mean" not to answer every question she asked fully and completely. Um, if she asked me an intelligent question I would. It wasn't so much SD's way of starting a conversation (she pretty much refused to talk to me anyway), but more her way of exerting control and showing how she could "make" me deal with her. Most people can figure out I'm making tacos or find their dad on their own.

Shaman29's picture

OMG....Elizabeth....I now how two more people to add to my ass kicking road trip. Your SD and your H.

Seriously? She's twenty-fricking-one! If he wants to waste time answering inane questions fully and completely, then my answer would be "Go ask your father, so he can fully and completely answer your question."

I would develop selective hearing when she is around. Hmmmmmmm......I'm sorry did you ask something? What was that? I'm having problems understanding you? Did you just offer to set the table and do the dinner dishes??

Elizabeth's picture

I should qualify that at the time she was asking these questions she was NOT 21, but they did continue until she moved out of our house at age 15, so up until then. She probably continues to do it at BM's house but luckily I don't have to hear it.

Elizabeth's picture

I tried not bothering to answer because DH didn't like the answers I was giving, but then he would get mad at me for "ignoring" his princess and making her feel "unwelcome."

Elizabeth's picture

See above. SD would complain to DH, he would get mad at me being "mean" or "rude" if I did answer her or ignore her. No wins here.

Tuff Noogies's picture

ah the all-too-familiar double standard....

*sigh*

got nothing for ya liz, but i toootttally get the same things from both skids and dh

Hanny's picture

I agree, why wouldn't you have said same thing to her that you would say to your kids?

Unfreakingreal's picture

The fact that a 21 year old would even ask such stupid shit leads me to believe that there is something wrong with her?!?!?

Is there?

Shaman29's picture

Controlling mini-wife. Daddy protects her from mean ol' stepmother.

What SD21 and OP's H need is a boots in the ass.

Shaman29's picture

My mother used to give us bread for dinner as punishment, if we walked in and asked such a dumb question.

Now if we walked in and asked if we could help, she would tell us what she was making and give us a task or show us how to cook the meal.

askYOURdad's picture

I either answer stupid questions with a question or an equally stupid answer.

DaizyDuke's picture

I can never get over the amount of teenagers and adults that I read about here, who reading the blog, I think "Wow, this kid acts just like BS4" I mean I have never seen so many toddler brains in adult bodies in all my life.

SD16 is a pain in the ass, but thankfully she is not THIS bad, because I would seriously flip my shit!

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

>>>1. I don't know. He pulled out the tracking device I had implanted. He could be anywhere by now.<<<

I'm going to borrow this. SD14 asks me regularly where FDH is if she doesn't see him within five seconds of entering a room.

Shaman29's picture

Pick up your phone and hit a few button. Tell your skid to listen for screaming because you just activated his shock collar.

Mercury's picture

I've contemplated answering like this:

Glare at skid for at least five seconds and then say "Look, I know you got stuck with half of your mom's DNA but maybe if you work really hard at it, you can eventually overcome your deficiencies: #1 Observe your surroundings #2 Give your brain a few minutes to process what you are seeing before you open your mouth. These two simple steps will serve you well in even the most difficult situations."

But I don't say that. I just ignore them. If DH is around he's quick to answer. He's probably so thrilled that they are even talking at all that he doesn't notice how stupid they sound. His kids have no social skills at all.