Denial and amnesia, a potent combination
Love DH, but some days I want to hurl him through a plate glass window.
BD9 has been a pain lately. Moody, talking back, etc. DH and I are working to deal with this, but he hasn't been around the past six onths (in another state), so it's been me dealing with it the majority of the time. Anyway, she went huffing out the door at something he said and he starts talking about how at least he only has one kid who acts like this. Excuse me? SD acted the exact same way, only it was worse because I wasn't allowed to deal with it and she saw that and escalated the behavior beyond the bonds of all reasonable behavior.
So I said, "No, you had two kids who acted like that." And he's like "Huh?" And I said, "SD acted the same way." And he did this sort of shrug, dismissive gesture with his hand and said, "She's not like that any more."
Mayb she's not, I wouldn't know. But she sure as hell WAS like that for a long time (like ages 8 to 17 when I stopped seeing her altogether). Denial, denial, denial.What's past is past, all is forgiven, life is great. Gag! So glad HE can forgive and forget when he isn't the one who got treatd like shit for a decade.
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My DH has amnesia when it
My DH has amnesia when it comes to SD16. I married DH when SD was 10. SD was petrified to stay home alone. She was only 10!
When she was about 12 she started being able to be in the house alone.
Now my DD10 is almost 11. She just started being ok to be home alone if I run to a store close by. DH goes on a rant about how SD was NEVER afraid to stay home alone at age 10 and how silly my DD was for being so afraid. Ugh! He is an idiot.
He does this with everything. He conviently forgets about SD's terrible attitude, how shitty she treated me, how she tried to break us up, how she would lie and not do her homework, how shitty she treated my DD.
I am so sick of hearing "SD NEVER did that." I want to punch him in the face everytime he says it. It pisses me off just thinking about it.
Exactly, hence my wanting to
Exactly, hence my wanting to hurl him through a plate glass window. Everything BD9 does is WAY worse than the way SD was at the same age, if you asked DH. And they are BOTH his kids. What's funny (ironic, not amusing) is one day he was asking our two girls if they knew who is his favorite (he tells them they both are) and in my mind I'm going, "Come on, we all know the answer to that question is SD19. SHE is his favorite."
I hate when they play
I hate when they play favorites! DD10 isn't DH's but BD4 is and he does the same thing with her.
The worst was when BD was a baby and everything she did that bothered him he said SD never did that.
What really put me over the edge was when I was about 9 months pregnant and feeling bigger than a house and he has the fucken nerve to say to me "When BM was pregnant with SD you couldn't even tell she was pregnant" I am actually not sure how I stopped myself from murdering him in that moment!!!
Now when he starts with his shit that SD never did that I just mutter yeah SD is perfect and walk away. I won't even engage in the conversation because when he has something in his head, he is right and thats the end of it!
ah, yes.... I was just
ah, yes.... I was just thinking about this last night in fact!
I had to ask my DH if he remembers way back when his SK's were 12, what kind of expectations did he have for them? Of course his recollection is that he had PLENTY of expectations! He kept them in line! They listened, they minded, they treated HIM with respect!
Now, you want MY version? Everybody was expected to be NICE to the SK's and understand they would be treated "differently" because they were children of divorce. They had no bedtimes, there was no expectation for them to be pleasant with anyone in this house, or to respect anyone or anything here. They ran their father. And they still do.
The reason I was thinking about it is because I see my DH being almost intolerant of some of my DS12's "behaviors" and really riding roughshod on him to make sure he walks the straight and narrow. I told my DH that he needs to cut that sh*t out this very moment, that I will handle my son, and that he needs to BACK OFF. Obviously he conveniently forgets that my kids have witnessed the fact that he has no rules/expectations for his kids, and yes my kids DO have memories to way back when. So I'm taking HIS lead and treating my kids the exact.same.way. If he doesn't like it, then I say to him what he would always say to me: "What the hell do you want ME to do about it?"
it's that old what comes around goes around... My name's Karma, and I'm a Bitch.