I survived the week! Thank-you for all the thoughts, prayers and emotions.

I would say that overall this week was a big improvement over past Sdiabla invasions, I mean visits. It was a big improvement because of ME not because of SD or DH changing all that much. I would say that SD has improved maybe 10%? over how she was 5 years ago. Her snotty comments lessened and she sometimes uses typical customary greetings whereas she used to just slam the door and storm around without customary greetings such as "hello, goodbye, goodnight" etc. I on the other hand have improved my approach to the dysfunction of the former failed 1st family by maybe 89%? DH? He has improved by about 25% as well.

I remove myself from the situation as much as possible. I allow DH to be fully responsible for her needs and wants. Afterall, she's his bio so it's his job to deal with her, not mine. She only wants to engage with him anyway. She rarely talks to me or asks me for anything. (fine by me) When I have to interact with SD my goal is to keep my responses as kind, neutral, and brief as possible. I may not FEEL or THINK kind or neutral thoughts but I keep those to myself. Unlike SD's, "If you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all." is something I have been capable of since childhood.

I am focusing on and becoming aware of my own thoughts, emotions and feelings about the SD and how DH handles SD and less on DH or SD's behavior or emotions.

Probably the most infuriating episode was when SDiabla27 had an old high school girl friend over. Let's call this friend "Annie." I have met this friend maybe 1 time previously but I don't know her at all. Annie was SO uncomfortable interacting with me. SD27 has obviously sh*t talked DH and I to her. They all walked into the room where I was so I said "Hello, how are you?" Did SD or DH bother to reintroduce us and ease the awkward transition? As in, "Hey Annie, you remember meeting Elea before" Boom. Introductions complete.

NO, of course not. SD didn't even bother to look my direction. DH was too busy soothing the discomfort by nervously chatting.

When we had a moment alone I mentioned to DH that we hadn't been introduced. He said, "Sorry babe, I should have introduced you." Fast forward 5 minutes later, SD27 and Annie walk back into the same room as us. DH says, "Annie, this is Elea, Elea - Annie." To which MID SENTENCE SDiabla27 interrupts DH with a snotty "Dad! They already said hello."

OMG, if that were my kid I would have jumped out of my seat and grabbed her by the throat. How dare you entertain a friend in MY SPACE and then reprimand me when I have to demonstrate a proper introduction for your rude a*s.

What did DH do? Nothing.

I try to stay out of teaching DH how to parent but I couldn't contain myself. I privately explained to him what was rude about it, why it was rude and what he needs to say to SD about expectations for her behavior in the future. If she doesn't like it, and she won't, she has 2 choices. 1. She can follow the rules. 2 She can get the F out and stop bringing her friends to our house. She is not in charge of DH and she is not in charge of me. She is only in charge of herself.

DH hemmed and hawed about it, like what's the big deal? I told him he can handle it as he sees fit but if he refuses to set standards of conduct and continues to allow her to disrespect us then I may one day pull the plug on this relationship. I am younger than DH by a bit and I can see SD's pushy, demanding, entitled self becoming worse as he ages, not better.

The second annoying episode was last night. SD went out with Annie. She told DH she'd be home late. (Fine by me) SD returns mid-evening while DH and I are watching our TV show. DH paused the show while I fed the dog. SD27 is sitting on the porch outside. The door is open so I can hear everything. DH invites her to come inside and watch the TV show with us. She doesn't respond, rather SD has the nerve to say, "Dad, are you going to hang outside with me? It's my last night here!" (Fake cheerful tone) Thank-the-heavens DH had the good sense to IGNORE her. (In the past he would have been ass-sniffing.) He came back inside and we resumed watching TV while SD stewed outside, by herself.

She came back in right before the show ended. In the past DH probably would have tried to sit with her and talk about her fee fees awhile, which inevitably turns into SD going into hysterics, airing her grievances about how he didn't spend time with her, coddle her, and cave to her request/demand. Instead I said goodnight and walked up to our bedroom and DH said goodnight and walked right after me. SD was left sitting by herself. I was proud of DH.

There is a bit more to tell about her departure today but I am tired of thinking about it right now. I wished her the best as she left and I really mean it. I also wish not to see her again but she will be back in 3 weeks for a very short stay. The saga continues .........