OK, let me get to the heart of our issue quickly. I am 53 my wife of three years is 54. She has two sons aged 30 and 32. I first married when I was 38 and my children are now 12 and 13. The 12 year old is a girl, 13 is a boy. My wife continues to have difficulty accepting her new "family" three years into our marrage. In other words, she thought this was not going to be as big of a deal as it has been for her to adjust to. She freely admits that she is suffering from the "been there/done that" syndrome and it is causing difficulties in our marriage.