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HELP!!!!! I have tried.....

dreamingofhappiness's picture

Submitted by dreamingofhappiness on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 9:01am

I have tried to disengage.... I have tried to put everything back on BD. I have told him to his face. I have walked away, I have ignored the situations, I have not done anything for the SKids, but now it starts all over again. I AM "NOT ALLOWED" to walk away. He has no clue how to be a parent. But I get told that because I have non of my own I do not know how to be a parent... I CAN NOT HANDLE ANYMORE!!!!! I am sick and tired of my life being taken over at the expense of every one else. And I am SO DAMN Tired of hearing "They are just children, you can not blame then"... Ya know what, I many not have the right to "BLAME", fine I can accept that, but I'll be damned if I can not hold a 13 year old and a 15 year old accountable for their antics and their bull shit!!!!!

I am so just pissed right now I am seeing red....

Comments

dreamingofhappiness's picture

Submitted by dreamingofhappiness on Tue, 01/17/2012 - 6:07pm

The Children are in Counseling. I am not allowed to Attend...

Aeron's picture

Submitted by Aeron on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 9:27am

"Well if they're just children and can't be held accountable, then I guess I have to blame you since you're their father."

And over my dead body would I give a damn what I was "ALLOWED" to do. He's your husband for crying out loud, not your boss, not your jailer, and not YOUR Parent. He wants to dictate what's allowed or not, he needs to go deal with his kids or find a dog.

He's telling you you don't know how to parent, I think that pretty much gives you full on "permission" to walk away. "Well honey, you told me I don't know what I'm doing, so I thought I would just leave it all to you."

The frigging nerve of these Men!

dreamingofhappiness's picture

Submitted by dreamingofhappiness on Tue, 01/17/2012 - 6:13pm

You will love this... LOL...

It just so happened that the way things worked out this weekend, I left the house for the night...

Came home to a torn up kitchen, unfed children.... and ALL 4 clinging to me like glue... "Where you been, I missed you..." I was worried bout you...." the whole nine...

Then SD started her monthly cycle, I told her I have nothing here for her.... Her face sunk... Then I told her to clean up, (BODY AND CLOTHING) I came back, and I got "I dont have any clean underwear..." My response "Well, I guess that is the price you have to pay for removing your things from my home and acting like you could care less about me. Not my fault you did not bring enough necessary clothing from moms...." "Put on Dirty Underwear til you get home... You need something.... "

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 11:27am

I agree with the other posters - especially takenforgranted - keep disengaging until he is forced to step up. I went through this 9 years ago with my DH - he now does everything for the SDs. I do nothing whatsoever. Of course DH will try and get things back the way they were - the way that is convenient for HIM! Stay strong.

bestwife's picture

Submitted by bestwife on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 5:12pm

I would not have conversations with him about how you are "walking away". Just do it. You don't have to announce it and get him to agree with it as he probably never will.

Just don't care - that the most important part. You really have to not care how they act and how they turn out. Your attitude should just be "whatever". Do not let them make you angry. I wouldn't even talk to them enough to hear disrespect, etc.

Agree with your spouse that as you don't have children then you couldn't possible know what to do with/for them so you will just defer to him on everything. And for some reason you are going to be too busy to do any crap he tries to palm off on you.

They are most likely not going to ever by held accountable by their father - you just need to remove yourself enough so that you really don't care.