It's not an attack.
BM is impossible to coparent with.
SO contacted her because one of the kid has had an ongoing sniffle for over a month now.
3 visits ago it didn't concern us at all. Last visit we noticed it was still happening.
This weekend we realized it's still going on and maybe we should be concerned.
It's not a big deal just a little sniffly but the fact that it's still there was why he contacted her.
In one breath she says she's been giving the kid otc meds for almost a week. In the next she yelling about his he didn't tell her about it..... ummm seems like you already knew and a sniffle alone isn't enough go call home about.
Again it's a sniffle which isn't anything alone but the fact it's not stopped is the concern. Then to find out the kids been getting meds for a week and she didn't care to tell us but wants to yell about him not contacting her two weeks ago like its a broken leg?
This is everything he contacts her about. She denies there's a problem, then admits there is, then tries to blame him or after saying she's been doing something about it tried to claim it only happens at our place so must be us.
I'll add his contact is "Hey I noticed X seems to have an ongoing sniffle." But oh no he's a horrible person.
I have backed off a bit and realized she may not actively be causing issues BUT she's an idiot who makes it impossible for there to be any consistency or communcation between the homes.
And this is something that coparent needs to happen. I feel the kid should see a doctor just to ensure it's nothing but urgent care is over the top.
I just wish she didn't treat everything like an attack.
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This is BM. She too thinks
This is BM. She too thinks everything is an attack. She was so aggressive and paranoid. Horrible to deal with.
Thank god those days are done as she lost custody. Now we just get to hear crap she says about us when SD and her talk on the phone.
I hate when skids feel the
I hate when skids feel the need to tell you all the crap BM says about you and your home.
Yup....nothing like do ALL
Yup....nothing like do ALL the supporting...and I do mean all of it.....just to have that person bitch about us to the kid. And you know it affects the way the kid looks at us.
Such an unhealthy dynamic.
We talked eith the kids just
We talked eith the kids just last night about how "mommy and daddy might get frustrated with each other but that doesn't mean you should have to listen to them say bad things about each other."
We said that is why there is a judge making rules so both of them know what they are suppose to do
We included that sometimes people make mistakes when they are upset and if the kids ever hear us saying anything about their mom that they don't like they can tell us to stop.
When we told SD that the
When we told SD that the judge gets to decide her visitation (SD wanted to be with us more) BM went to court crying that we were telling SD about the court proceedings (all we told SD was that mommy and daddy can't agree so judge gets to make decisions when she asked- we were just honest). In our BM centric state, DH was ordered to stop telling the minor child about the proceedings *eyeroll*.
When BM told SD to call baby daddy "dad" she just got a slap on the wrist and it was never documented. When BM told SD that she hates us and DH brought it up in court, it was never addressed or documented. It was a joke that she took the parenting classes because she never did a damn thing that tell you to do and did ALL of the things she was told NOT to do.
As you can tell, I am anti-BM and loath our mother loving state biases.
I agree. BM told SD that
I agree. BM told SD that daddy abandoned them when he met me and that he didn't love them. Then when she was forced to coparent, she continued to PAS and play victim. SD is a smart kid so she saw right through it but that doesn't mean BM was right to treat SD like her buddy and try to play her against us.
This BM most definitely will.
This BM most definitely will. The fact that she didn't send kid with the medicine or tell you which one to buy is about control. Our BM has SD on every weekday of the year legally and doesn't feel the need to inform DH about SD's medical care. Well, I lie. She contacted him about reimbursement for SD's new braces. Silly me.
I wouldn't care that the kids
I wouldn't care that the kids taking medicine but that they've been taken it so long. I don't expect him to be told every time the kid gets something but if it's on going that's different.
Two weeks ago I did go out and get medicine for the kid. I'm 90% sure we told the person who picked up the kids about it and we left it at that.
But BM first wants to act like nothing's going on. Then admit it's been going on for a week by what she says. Then tries to yell because we didn't tell her two weeks ago..... Again two weeks ago sniffles weren't concerning.
He's attempting to coparent and she's attacking.
I can't tell you how much I
I can't tell you how much I feel for you. Our BM has since calmed down and become more cooperative but it's taken nearly 7 years. However, from reading this site, some women never stop the drama.
Joke's on our BM, though. She has aged horribly. She's in her mid-30s but looks at LEAST a decade older. She probably hates her boring life with her baby daddy and average job. She is an underachiever who does what she can to stay on government assistance and do the bare minimum to get by. As I said, it's taken 7 years but life finally caught up to her.
Ontop of this SO is trying to
Ontop of this SO is trying to find out who is picking up the kids this weekend since she is honestly never able to.
Yes we go through this visit. Why does she have to get snippy and can't just tell us "X will be there."
Yes 9 times out of 10 it's the same person but why is attitude needed just to know who's going to show up. Let's add the person who mainly shows up has a history of random ER visits that could randomly prevent them.
Let alone it's just nice to know for sure since we know it won't be BM and others have shown up before.
What a mess. My mom was just
What a mess. My mom was just telling me about her new job. She's a brand new accountant who has minimal experience. She'll ask a certain coworker a question and this coworker gets snarky and says "look at your notes, we talked about this last week"- about something that my mom hasn't practiced long enough and doesn't do everyday. Just like the BMs who can't answer a basic question without always having to refer to the CO and make everyone's life easier. She should automatically tell you who is picking skids up if it isn't her.
Oh that's the thing. She is
Oh that's the thing. She is suppose to get the kids. KNOWING she was unable to do this she demanded the CO to be changed because before SO was required to do ALL transportation. In turn he got a minimal deduction to CS that didn't even cover the gas but oh no she can't give up that tiny bit and instead makes everyone else come get the kids for her.
All SO asks is to know who is coming. OneNote the people BM has had come I have serious issues with. It's best I know I'm advance if she's going to be at my door.
Sounds familiar. Anytime DH
Sounds familiar. Anytime DH contacts BM about anything doing with the kids, her response is always, "You're only saying this because you hate me!" "I'm a good mother. You're only saying this because you're mean and you hate me!"
If she gets caught in an actual lie, she responds in typical teenage fashion. First by saying "you're only saying that because you hate me!" Then changing her story. Then trying to convince DH she did not in fact, change her story.
I now try to convince DH not to contact her for anything, even if it seems valid, because I can't deal with her adolescent responses. It annoys me that an adult still tries to deal with other adults like a teenager. I didn't even really like teenagers when I was a teenager.
She also tries to manipulate DH into getting him to do things she wants. If she wants him to take the kids for an extra weekend, she'll start by telling him that she can't believe he doesn't want to see his children more and if she were him, she'd be so sad that she only saw the kids every other weekend. When he ignores her, she'll come back and say "actually, it would be really helpful if you could take the kids this weekend." The last time she scheduled something over DH's weekend, she told him as if he had already started a fight about it. She said something like, "we'll be on vacation on your next weekend, but if you plan to make an issue out of it, I'll just bring the kids home early because I'm not interested in fighting with you!" I want to call her myself and say, "listen, if you plan to ask someone for a favor, you don't insult them first." But since I don't talk to her, I don't do this.
I feel your pain, sister. BMs
I feel your pain, sister. BMs always demand and never ASK and then make it out to be a high school drama, as you stated. I am so glad I don't have to deal with the woman but I feel bad that DH is stuck with that task for at least 6 more years.
Oh she tries that change
Oh she tries that change story crap. That's why I LOVE the parenting app. He just shoots her back the messages relevant and leaves it to that.
As for contact the thing is this is medical so they really have to communicate. It would be over the top to take the kid to urgent care and going to a doctor twice just because she won't communicate is rediculaus.
" "Hey I noticed X seems to
" "Hey I noticed X seems to have an ongoing sniffle."
As innocent as that sounds to you or me or anyone at least half way 'normal', it is attacking to a high conflict person that is suspicious of Dad's motives to start with.
It implies to BM as 'since you haven't bothered to notice the kid is STILL sniffing'
No, of course, that's not at all what Dad texted, but the woman is being defensive because they are going through a divorce and for quite a while they were playing 'gotcha' between the two of them.
So, yeah, 'ongoing sniffle' set her haunches up.
Don't worry abut it. She attacks because she is not MOTY and she knows it. Dad just isn't suppose to call her out on it. LOL. She could have just as easily informed Dad on pick-up that kiddo was still having sniffles and she has been giving kiddo _________ from OTC. Dad could have dropped by drug store and looked for product or asked pharmacy about perhaps something they recommend .
If no coughing, sore throat nor fever, nor the nose isn't running thick discolored snot it could be sinuses. I run a vaporizer this time of year. My nose likes to run when I come in from the cold to the warm. If BM or Dad calls the dr office they may or may not want to see the kid. Actually this time of year every sick kid in town is sitting in a drs office which could give the kid something he/she doesn't already have.
Dad really is just going to have to suck it up on the times he must communicate with BM. She isn't going to get any nicer and she doesn't want to co-parent with him to begin with. He's aware of the sniff that isn't going away and he mentioned it to her. How she reacts to the communication is her problem. She is who she is, she isn't going to change.
I am surprised she didn't say
I am surprised she didn't say to DH "well I thought YOU would want to take him to the doctors. WHY DIDNT YOU XDH ?? ss was with you wasn't he?"
That is on page 37 of the SINGLE MOM hand book.
**Even if the BM is re- married, she is still a single mom don't you know**
BM allow SO to take the kids
BM allow SO to take the kids to the doctor?
Yeah that won't happen. She has done everything she can to prevent him from being able to see a professional with the children even going against medical advice in the past.
The few times he has been able to take them she moved heaven and earth to make sure she was there too then bragged about how amazing their coparenting was.
No she does everything she can to prevent him from finding out about anything expect that she repeatly seeks sympathy on Facebook and plasters the children's medical information all over it which is how he does find out when the kids are sick or even in the ER.
Of course she wont let him
Of course she wont let him take 'her' child to the Dr's.
That is why I am surprised she didn't ask WHY didn't he. LOL
THATS what they do...........