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Talking about step parenting with non-step parents

Dontcallmemom's picture

Submitted by Dontcallmemom on Wed, 10/23/2013 - 10:31am

Yesterday I was talking to a friend about how I blogged on this site about my SS. She got this surprised/horrified look on her face and was astonished that people would do that. She asked why I would do such a thing and I told her it was nice to know that there were people out there who shared my frustrations and could give me advice. That this really is an online support group.

She just didn't get it that I would be so frustrated at times with SS and living in a blended family situation that I just need to vent about it. For a moment, I felt like a horrible person and guilty for venting. But that feeling passed Smile

Comments

overworkedmom's picture

Submitted by overworkedmom on Wed, 10/23/2013 - 10:37am

LOL my 2 best friends were at a loss on advice since neither of them are steps. They love that I get on here and ask all the time "What do your people on that site think??"

3familiesIn1's picture

Submitted by 3familiesIn1 on Wed, 10/23/2013 - 10:53am

Yeah, I just had my BFF from high school and her hubby and kids down for a week, haven't seen them in 10 years. Its like we never had a break Smile But... when it came to my stepson being here too, and that I am disengaged, she also got this horrified look on her face, her husband had a 'terrible' SM apparently - and well, since I didn't buy into that either, I just said, are you sure she was terrible because I am certain my SS will say the same thing for me, I said, you should try being one before you decide what makes a good SM or not...

Yeah, I don't judge her, she can't relate, its not her fault for not getting it. I just ask she doesn't judge me either...

HadEnoughx5's picture

Submitted by HadEnoughx5 on Wed, 10/23/2013 - 11:05am

When I was married to my first husband, I could never understand his aunts step issues until I was remarried with my own blended family. One day I saw her and told her. I gave her a hug and apologized for not being more empathetic back then.

I really hate the phrase "well you knew what you were getting into!" Uh, don't judge me unless you've walked in a step parents shoes.

itsmylifetoo's picture

Submitted by itsmylifetoo on Wed, 10/23/2013 - 12:12pm

Just copied, printed, and hung on my office wall...thanks for that! A most perfect explanation of how most of us feel on a daily basis...expected to accept hate, abuse, and judgment "for the kids."

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Wed, 10/23/2013 - 2:49pm

I really do not talk about my stepparent experiences with anyone-except you fine folks here-and of course dh. Soooo much has happened in my household I could never ever fully explain it to anyone and quite frankly I find words someone lacking to describe the hell I feel myself and my kids went through for years. So rather than having people perhaps judging me, misunderstanding, or questioning, I just say nothing.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Wed, 10/23/2013 - 3:02pm

IMO it's like trying to explain to someone who has never been held hostage in their own home what it's like to be held hostage in your own home. Or what it's like to eat a sugar coated crap sandwich that has been wrapped up in ribbons and a pretty bow.