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Feelings.....

Dolphin's picture

Submitted by Dolphin on Sun, 09/22/2013 - 9:14am

Good morning step talk! I'm going to apologize in advance because this is gonna seem like a lot of rambling.... I don't have any children of my own so sometimes I find myself very irritated/ annoyed that I do and spend so much money helping raising someone else's child .stbSD is a good kid does well in school and for the most part behaves well. I guess I feel like with this child I only get the shitty part of parenting... The financial and obligations (pick her up, take her here). All though I do so much i dont feel like ppl see me as a parent i feel like a glorified nanny. I dont get to enjoy the good stuff of having a child, being a mother and directly affecting the child's life. When my stbSD has accomplishments no matter how much I have helped the credit goes to her parents even if her mother is not supportive or participating.

FDH is working on my ring ( I want to get married before we have kids) I really hope that once I have a child of my own I will feel better. I think another big part of this is I HATE BM... It's like a abnormal hate of this woman. She was a complete manipulative bitch when she and FDH got divorced... She has since then calmed down and is not nearly as bad as what your guys have to deal with.. She does irritating shit here and there, and only wants to co parent when it benefits her.

Help step talk... Does anyone else feel this way?

Comments

PetStr's picture

Submitted by PetStr on Sun, 09/22/2013 - 10:04am

Had this very argument with my DH just last night. I told him I feel like the ATM, cook, maid, nurse and chauffeur. We have 3 of his 4 kids living with us. One had an ear infection this past week. I paid for the clinic visit and meds, got up at all hours to administer meds, stayed home 2 days with sick child then drove to the school to give her her mid day dose of meds. She visited her BM for the night before we took her to the clinic and BM is hailed as a saint for taking a rag, heating it on the stove and putting it on her ear when she complained about pain. She was supposed to spend 2 nights at BM'S but when BM realised SD12 needed to be taken to the clinic and there would be payment involved, she called DH and told him she was dropping her off early so we could deal with it. Oh but hey, according to SD12, lets submit a request for sainthood to be bestowed upon BM for her rag on the stove move.....

itsmylifetoo's picture

Submitted by itsmylifetoo on Sun, 09/22/2013 - 12:35pm

I feel this way too, I have bio kids, but I feel like so much of my time, energy, and funds go into my sos kids and I know to not be prepared to gain credit...and it is frustrating, because I do A LOT to make things work in our house. I think that once you ha e a child, you will feel like you have more of a place and you will feel more fulfilled. Hang in there!

.Em.'s picture

Submitted by .Em. on Sun, 09/22/2013 - 9:37pm

I'm right there with you. I don't have any kids of my own and my SO has 2. One is 4 and the other one just turned 7. My SO just got laid off. Has been out of work for a few months. So, I have been picking up the slack in everything financial. It's to be expected to help out your SO. Skids come with the package, but... can I at least get a "Thank you honey"?