BM ruined my weekend
BM usually picks up SS friday evening and he comes back monday afternoon. I look forward friday every week because i know SS will be out of my sight and i can have DH's undivided attention and we can have some quality time together. Im only off on weekends, same with DH so weekends are the only time we have to spend together. Friday evening no word from BM and then i thought maybe she will take him tomorow then she calls and says she is unable to take SS this weekend, i wanted to cry. That means BM is controlling my weekend plans, its all up to her. Spent the weekend with my bio baby in bed while DH played video games with SS all day until after 12 am. I had to tell him that they are other people in the house who need his attention. It was bad enough that we nolonger had the weekend to ourselves he did not need to neglect me all day busy with his son and then when he has had enough he comes to bed to me, his option B and wakes me up to have sex. I told him it doesnt work that way, he might as well go fuck his son.
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BM didn't ruin your weekend.
BM didn't ruin your weekend. Your husband's inability to juggle his responsibilities as a husband and a father did. What your husband did was awful, but he is the one to blame for it, not BM.
BM is the custodial parent. She is free to exercise her visitation as she sees fit.
Unfortunately we can't force
Unfortunately we can't force the other parent to exercise their visitation rights. Step parents really look forward to those times without skids.
our BM loved to mess about with the visitation (she was ncp and eowe) and frequently when SS was with her she would threaten to take him back to us if he did or said something she didn't like. That was how she parented. In the end he refused to go there anymore, in this country you can't force them either. We tried to encourage him as we wanted the break but he hated her by then. We had less BM stress but i really hated that we never got a break.
I do sympathise with you, sadly there is no way to enforce it. Your DH could handle it a lot better though.
I would be sooo annoyed! We
I would be sooo annoyed! We had that happen to us many times. BM is a little more stable now and usually takes skids when it's her scheduled visitation time, but for a while there you could never count on her. We would have plans, and all of a sudden she would call my SO and say she wasn't "stable enough" to handle skids that wknd, and we would be stuck with them. Or she would drop them off unannounced on the front lawn a whole day early. All of a sudden we would hear car doors shutting and skids coming in the door. Once we had gone to CO for a wedding, and driven there/back to pick up my things that were in storage. We had driven 17 hours all through the night and were exhausted. Climbed into bed and were sleeping when all of a sudden the skids were at the door. BM had her older daughter driving past our house, waiting for my car to be home, so she could drop skids off a day early without even telling us. I was LIVID. We thought we had a day to relax after the trip, but nope.
It's the worst to look forward to that alone time, only to not get it!
Ma'am..I can tell you are
Ma'am..I can tell you are upset.
Being a parent is a 24/7 obligation. 365 days a year.
Ok so your husand is playing video game with his son until midnight. Your mad that ncp BM was a no show. Would you prefere he was out at a bar with the guys from work?
It has been known to happen.
Not
But she's not the parent... he and BM are the parents.
I can understand the annoyance
but I don't understand why you would allow this to ruin your weekend. I would have just gone about my time as usual. If there were plans, we would have gone and completed our plans with SS along for the ride. If I need my husband I don't sit in my room and stay in bed, I communicate with him and let him know. Or I join him in another part of the house.
Basically you sat in your room and waited for your husband to pay attention to you. No one is a mind reader and given the option I myself would choose activities and enjoyment over sitting in a bedroom laying down.
Wow...I'm speechless!
To EXPECT you to do it all while he plays video games with SS all night. Then he wakes(!!!) you to have sex. What?
Dh ruined your weekend not BM.
Like others have said next time don't wait for DH to give you attention. Think of a plan for next time it happens( babysitter, family, going to mediation with BM) and get your DH onboard.
If you opt for mediation know that having a new baby in the house can give you at least some days you want.