I feel so selfish-yet I am totally annoyed!
So Ms. Perfect hasn't been bothered to take SS to a baseball game since that whole bit the other week. Okay, fine, she signs him up for stuff and can't be bothered to take him, much less support him. Whatever.
So Mic got a new job and will be working on Saturday, which is also SS's last ball game of the season. Now the responsibility falls on me.
Nevermind the fact that I already made plans. I've got an important meeting with a client in the morning, and a delivery to do right after (scheduled for the time that I would have to have SS at the field-all the way on the other side of town). I had scheduled lunch with a friend for my birthday, which I will now have to cancel. I'll have to rush through the meeting to push up the time of the delivery. In short, I will have to re-arrange my entire day for a game that the kid's own mother can't be bothered to go to. I feel so selfish for thinking that this is enitrely unfair (although I should be used to it by now), but the responsibility just got dumped on me, after I had everything all figured out. I don't know what to do, or how I should feel. I'd be a total ass if I don't take him, but I can't gyp the people who are paying me to do work just because my schedule is the most flexible out of all of us.
Grrr...
Oh, and to boot- we get to waste the last day of visitation at a BBQ at the field on Sunday. Nothing says spending time with your kid like watching him play with all of his baseball buddies. WTF.
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I am with vickiemac
right now. She seems to be right about these things. You will give up your time and energy, refuse your resources for the sake of someone else's child and love the child or not you will never see an appreciable return.
I am beginning to see that she is correct in this. BM is doing for herself, BF is doing for himself and HIS child (though frankly shuffling off his responsibility) and you are giving up yourself to take care of their responsibilities.
What is the pay off? will SS love you more? Will he lavish you with thanks? Will BF? Will it make BM less of an irresponsible biatch?
That is My Beef Also
Why is it what DH can't do and BM won't do always falls on us to save the day????? This has been a real pet peeve of mine and I don't feel one bit selfish and neither should you. This has nothing to do with loving SKIDS. I love them with all of my heart and I do for them because I want to do for them. Once it is "Expected" of me and not appreciated I won't do it anymore. But what BM won't do and DH is not able to do has literally cost me money (thousands of dollars), time off from work, and is emotionally draining. The BM and DH are the parents. I will throw back on them have all the responsibilities that should be theirs.
Agreed again.
I've never taken this route or approach, and I fear it will change everything between BF and I, but my extension of help and taking the burden of their responsibilities is over.