Less than three months--SD isn't going to be able to hold out that long

DH received a summons for court two days ago for court this morning. SD has stolen BM's credit card AGAIN for the millionth time. She isn't taking her meds. She isn't behaving at home or at school. BM has asked the court to step in and provide some help. BM has filed what my state considers at a CHINS (Child in need of services). During the hearing, the judge could ask DH if SD could live with him so the court doesn't have to take responsibility. DH says he isn't going because he has already told BM and SD that she CAN NOT come here to live. Read my blog for details. This is the second time that BM has tried to get the court to step in and help with SD. This is also the second time DH has not gone to court. Also, the last time BM had a CHINS filed, the judge told BM SD had a parental problem and she needed to discipline her child.

SD is already upset with DH. She called him a few days ago to tell him that she didn't appreciate him teaming up with her mom against her. DH knew that SD bought a phone with BM's credit card but refused to call BM back when BM called DH to ask him if he bought SD a phone. He said he was staying out of it and staying neutral but to SD he was on HER side. I didn't agree with that. I think he should have called BM back and let her know that he didn't buy SD a phone.

I get frustrated at DH, he also doesn't want SD from thinking that her parents are tag-teaming against her. He is still in so much denial. SD did show him her true colors a few months ago and he had to call the police on her. He just doesn't want to believe that stealing money from BM's credit card is such a big deal since SD has never stolen from him. I have to keep reminding him that SD hasn't stayed with us since she started stealing and there isn't an opportunity for her to steal from us.

BM has been trying to push DH to take SD since she became a teenager and her behavior has become out of control. BM fought so hard to keep DH from SD when she was younger and now she can't wait to get rid of her. SD SHOULD be graduating at the end of May. I am just hoping that SD can pull herself together for a little less than 3 months.

I know, I am naive to think this drama could ever end but I am still pushing for her to graduate.

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Can BM press charges on her

Can BM press charges on her for the theft? I’d be changing all my cc’s/bank cards and keeping my purse in a safe if I were BM.

Your DH should be ashamed of himself for not backing BM up when it comes to stealing her money that way. Irregardless of what BM’s done in the past, he isn’t helping his kid at all by sticking his head in the sand & pretending she doesn’t have issues.

One of my SS’s stole money from his mother once, and told us about it laughing. DH didn’t pull him up on it, so I did, then gave DH an absolute earful right in front of the kids. I can’t stand BM at ALL, but I’ll be damned if I wasn’t going to back her up in that moment. I’ve since disengaged, but these guys fail to see that they aren’t getting one up on the BM’s, they’re actually hurting their own kids by allowing this to happen.

Bm

has threatened multiple times to press charges but she never does. She doesn't want SD to have a "record". She claims she keeps her cards locked up. SD is VERY sneaky and VERY nosy. I am sure if SD is determined she can find the cards. Bm has just never followed through with discipline.

DH is so scared that SD would hate him if he isn't on her side. It just frustrates me so much.

I am not a fan of BM either but SD stealing from her or anyone is just wrong. I have called out SD a few times when she was here when she would start bad-mouthing BM. SD hasn't been to my house since she was 12 years old. I have only seen her maybe twice since then.

When does she turn 18? The

When does she turn 18? The courts won't take any responsibility for her after 18, as far as I know.

She turns 18

in July

Around here, they will not

Around here, they will not place a kid out of the home on a PINS (our version of CHINS), and if they do in the odd circumstance, the parents will pay the state CS. Neither parent should be able to say they won't take SD (I understand why you don't want her in your home, but she is still DH's responsibility as much as she is BM's, until she's 18).

Kids SHOULD have their parents tag-teaming against them, that's how it works in real life! Maybe if DH backed up BM, SD would make some changes. And I agree that BM has to press charges on SD. Do it now, before she's 18.

I think the judge

is going to tell her the same thing that he told her last time. BM is the parent and if she can't get SD to take her meds then she needs to get someone that can. The judge told her that he could get someone to help SD take her meds. He also told her that she could file charges against SD or keep her credit card away from SD.

I think he still needs to

I think he still needs to show up to court and refuse. If he doesn't the court could order it and she just shows up with the cops to your house and an order that says she is living there now.

I found out that the judge

could only suggest that DH take custody and not force it. DH just wants to avoid being asked if he would take her in court. DH already knows that SD can not live here. It is a safety concern for my DS and myself. He is free to live elsewhere with her if he likes just not here.

You are making like SD is normal

She is a sick kid. She thinks in a way out way. That part of the sickness. She doesn't get that she is better on her meds.
BM must make sure SD takes her meds. This kid will never be normal. I would not let her live with you.
SD needs help. Jail will not help her.