Question About Transportation
During the summer months we share joint custody with BM. Two weeks with her and two weeks with us. My question is... BM lives in the same town that I work in which is about 15 minutes from where DH and I live (50 minutes from where DH works). Our "meeting place" is also in the town where I work and BM resides. Does anyone know if there is a "law" or anything that would allow BM to refuse to let me pick up the kids on my way home from work rather than making DH drive after work since I am already going to be there?
- CrystalRE's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
An actual LAW, no... but
An actual LAW, no... but there may be something written in their custody paperwork. A lot of people have the meeting place included in the agreement, as well as WHO is allowed to pick them up. If that is not included, then I don't think she has a legal leg to stand on... I don't THINK. BM used to do this to us, saying I wasn't allowed to pick SS up from daycare (which I wasn't until my name was added and she wouldn't add my name)... we actually had to go to court over something THAT menial. And THAT is why their divorce took 3 years...
Does she have a problem with you picking up? Sorry, I can't recall your background.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
Wingnut tried to get the
Wingnut tried to get the judge to rule that ONLY dh can do exchanges. The judge thought she was being ridiculous and put in the order that "anyone the parent deems fit to pick up the child can do so as long as 1) the child knows that person and 2) the other parent is given notice".
As long as your custody order does not prohibit it, there isn't much she can do about it. Make sure you take the custody order with you to all exchanges (just in case she calls the cops).
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
She has never told me
She has never told me specifically that I cant pick them up but she does not care for me at all and I have a feeling that if DH suggested it she would balk. There is nothing in their decree prohibiting me from picking up the kids and I have no criminal record. So would it be your suggestion to tell her that she will need to try and get a court order to ban me from picking up the kids otherwise I will pick them up?
First, dh should "suggest"
First, dh should "suggest" it, he should tell her it is happening as though she has no choice. IF she hears weakness or negotiation she'll push. I would just have him call her and say "Crystal will be doing the exchanges this summer because that is what works best for us schedule wise since she is closer to the exchange point". If she argues, she has 2 choices 1) she can drive the children to your dh OR 2) she can take you to court. She will lose in court unless she can prove you're a reckless driver. As a legal guardian, your dh has every right to allow his wife to do the exchange, especially given the logical explanation for doing so.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
Good point. I always forget
Good point. I always forget about email since Wingnut is too stupid to use a computer.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
lmao
lmao
Thanks for the advice,
Thanks for the advice, everyone. DH and I have discussed how to handle this but needed to make sure that we werent missing something!
Nope, no law preventing it.
Nope, no law preventing it. We did attempt to force BioDad to pick up the Skid for visitation in the early days. He hates to fly and has never come to either pick up or visit the kid even though he has had a 1wk visitation in the Fall in the Skids area of residence.
His lawyer requested a clarification from the Judge on this. The Court Order used to say "Each party will transport the child to their location for visitation purposes".
The new language regarding visitation travel is "This may includ any acceptable transportation including transportation by the grandparents. Each party shall cooperate in making travel arrangements for the childs return, including driving the child to the airport, if necessary."
At the time we were attempting to force visitation to be with BioDad Vs SpermGrandMa. Since day one BioDad has had little interface with our Son (my SS). 95+% of visitation is and always has been spent with SpermGrandMa.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)
the BM in our situation
the BM in our situation called the cops the first time that I went to pick up my SS's. Their papers didnt say anything at all on transportation. The police officer pretty much told her to get over it. I was their step mom and the father had given me permission to act on his behalf. She was livid. She tried to have it changed in court but the judge refused saying that she was being childish.
In my papers with my Bd's mine are specific on who can and cant pick up the child. It also states that it can be someone other than who is listd but only with written consent by the parents. We've never really went there. I pick them up my dh or my parents but normally me or dh. Same with their side. Ive never cared if there SM picked them up.