The Hurtful Things SK's Say
So I recently began reading Stepmonster after having several pretty emotionally trying weeks with my SD's. In the introduction the Author quotes something her SD said to her fiance, in her presence, while shopping for her wedding dress. Her SD said, "How come all I get is a cheap belt and she gets a beautiful, expensive wedding dress".
This hit home to me because I have been dealing with a lot of nasty comments from the SK's lately. Ive been told by my SD's that BM doesnt like the way I do their hair, told that I am not allowed to plan their birthday parties anymore, told that "they will just have Mom do it" when I am unable to do something at their request. They are 10 and 6...very soon to be 11 and 7.
What are some of the nasty things that your SK's have said to you and how did you handle it? I could really use some encouragement 
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OMG...Im so sorry for you!
OMG...Im so sorry for you! Geez...makes me feel bad for whining when the things my SK's say seems mild compared! I suppose they are still pretty young so Im just getting a small taste of whats to come!
kiddo repeats things that bm
kiddo repeats things that bm says. so i guess its actually bm and her foul mouth and not kiddo, but still. Kiddo came home once and told me that "mommy x doesnt like it when you do my hair in styles cause it makes me look like a little black boy. what does that mean iwishyouwould?" (kiddo is mixed race and looks african american) I could have spit fire. I never expected to have to shield kiddo from racism from his own mother. Kiddo has also told me, after coming home from a visit with bm, to "go fetch me a cup of chocolate milk and get daddy for me" after ignoring me all evening, not thanking me for dinner, and talking like a baby for two hours straight. I said kiddo, that was very rude and we do not talk to grown ups like that, picked him up and plopped his little butt in time out for 20 minutes. Then dh and I had a long talk about behaviour and it doesnt matter what bm says to him, that the rules will always be the same at home. makes me wanna pull my hair out.
OH! Ive gotten a lot of that
OH! Ive gotten a lot of that too! They have even gone so far as to tell me they are allergic to some of the things I cook! And the ignoring!!! I am also invisible! They do not greet me, they do not say goodbye to me, they will ask DH to do their hair knowing full well he will tell them to ask me. They most of the time choose to go to school with their hair in a mess, rather than acknowlege me!
Most of the hurtful things
Most of the hurtful things that my skids have said have really just been typical, selfish, boneheaded kid things… like if I work for 12 hours sewing SS6 a costume for his school play and I try to pull him away from the TV for five stinkin seconds to look at it and the kid just gives it a sideways glance and says … “Uh-huh.” And I say, “Don’t you want to look at this, or don’t you even care..?” and I get “I don’t care” back as the response.
Selfish… boneheaded kid blather… luckily my DH doesn’t take any of that kind of crap. If one of the boys slights me in any way he corrects them and makes sure it’s something they’ll remember. I’m very blessed to have a husband who makes sure those kids know that what ever they say to me is the same as saying it to him…
I try not to take that stuff too personally. And the more hurtful the comment the less I ever show a reaction… kids are like dogs… they can sense fear and will jump all over it.
It’s really hard sometimes… but it confuses the hell out of them when they throw a dagger and are met with a wink and a laugh.
My skids really don;t say
My skids really don;t say that much to me but one thing that ss14 did was when he was about 9 I guess, I made breakfast and lunch, I'm the type that make it put it on the table and let them know it is there and if they eat it is up to them, well ss14 (9 at that time) didn't eat anything and then when dh got home he told him that I refused to feed him. WTF??? I told dh right then and there yep I did and just him too b/c everyone else ate! I walked off and dh told ss that he better not ever blame me for him not eating.
When I got the skids they all were a bunch of wussies. i couldn't say if they spilled there drink, go get a towel now fast without them crying. mainly it was them being little cry babies
I overheard my SK's telling
I overheard my SK's telling BM that we didnt feed them lunch one time.
My SK's have DH's parents
My SK's have DH's parents convinced that they are too precious to eat what everyone else is eating so Grandma and Grandpa make them chicken nuggets and/or hotdogs and mac and cheese for family gatherings! Even on Christmas and Thanksgiving! One year I told them that this was unexceptable and I was the family b**ch for a whole year!
I am one of the lucky ones as
I am one of the lucky ones as DH was a great parent to his kids when him and BM were still together. He was firm but loving (whereas BM yells about most things). And he was primary parent as BM was gone most evenings.
(He has become more of a pushover since him and I have been together but that's besides the point)
The most hurtful thing that I ever heard either skid say to me (and it's my own insecurity, not that she was trying to be hurtful) was right after I met them and SD saw a picture and said, "Oh, there's daddy and mommy! Oh, that's not mommy." and then got a very sad, sullen look on her face as she glanced towards me. That bothered me because I felt that DH may have not been over BM and found someone who looked like her as a substitute. But when I finally saw BM for myself, I saw that the only looks that we had in common were long dark hair. Otherwise, we looked NOTHING alike!
Oh, the worst of all was when
Oh, the worst of all was when DH took me to a restaurant (to propose to me) and when we left, there was BM and the skids waiting to get a table. BM started screaming at us that we were horrible to her kids and didn't feed them (!). I bent down and said to SD (who was the one who said this to her mom) that if she ever wasn't full or problem with us, she should tell US. The real problem was that BM took the kids out to eat all the time and all SD ever wanted at that young age was chicken nuggets! So, we didn't make chicken nuggets, she didn't eat and then went home to say that we didn't feed her!
Damn BM ruining my memory of getting engaged!
NOw if we were talking about
NOw if we were talking about the hurtful things that they say to their dad, ss14 is the worst. He has told his dad that he is not good enough and everything he has is not good enough. He is better than his dad b/c he has better stuff oh and he is a better driver than his dad too, even though ss is 14! But you see the thing is that bm doesn't work and she lives off CS who do you think supports her and those kids 100%???? GGGRRRR