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Gaping parent-shaped hole, but I don’t want to fill it

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Submitted by CloudCuckooLand on Wed, 10/30/2019 - 6:54pm

SD and SS live with BM full time and we have them on holidays. However, there is not a secure, plugged in, emotionally present connection between BM and skids or DH and skids. I can feel SD in particular looking to me to fill that mommy-shaped hole but I just can't. I don't want to try and fill a hole that can never be filled because I'm not the originator/root of that hole. Life is hard enough as it is and I'm certain I would get swallowed up by the 'first family' dysfunction if I'm not careful. DH would not step up to his parenting duties if I stepped in, even a little bit. 

PTSD-type symptoms from skids???

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Submitted by CloudCuckooLand on Thu, 07/06/2017 - 7:46pm

I just posted about a smell and a skid experience becoming so coupled up in my brain that whenever I smell fusty hair I feel absolute disgust and get taken back to the experience of SD dysfunction as if it were yesterday. Anyone else have stimuli that reminds you, viscerally, of skids?

This is what I wrote on the other blog:

Same old step stuff, different year...

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Submitted by CloudCuckooLand on Sat, 04/29/2017 - 2:54pm

Why is steplife so full of the same old stuff, just a different year??? Every year, DH waits til the last second to book summer visitation dates with BM and skids. This pisses everyone off:

BM uses it is prove he is a crappy Dad and encourage skids to cut DH out.. She sends a scathing email listing all his failures. DH rants about it and I point out that he left himself WIDE open on that one.