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w.t.f., w.t.F...W.T.F.!!!!

Chel Bell's picture

B.M..... again is calling another hearing, over C.S. issues, the amount she is supposed to get is way to much for us to afford to cough up, we cannot modify it , because we were told we would have to wait 4 years for another modification....seriously! So of course over the past few months we are behind on what we owe, so she is pissed and called another hearing..2 weeks from now in FL. & we are living in Mass. and can't get down their for this BS. no time or $$$ for a trip like that. And it says on the notice if my DH. is not there they will issue a warrent!! He called this am. to see what he could do was on hold for 20 min, then had to hang-up to go to work, so we still do not know what to do. BM, has been saying so long now how she cant wait to put him in jail, its a sick obsession w/ her. what do we do, anyone ever deal w/ this before? Chel

Comments

sparky's picture

H has 2 choices: either he shows up on the court date or he has an attorney representing him show up in his stead. If no one is there the clerk of court will issue a warrant for his arrest. Is there any way that he can be there for the court date?

Sia's picture

Do not step foot in the state where she is, have an attorney go instead. The exact same thing happened to us. DH was six months behind due to unemployment (no excuse) and the ex sued him even after she had agreed to back off because she made 10x what he did. She didn't need the money. Anyway, since we lived in another state, they held him there and told him that he had to come up with a "good faith" payment before he could leave the state. We had to borrow the $ from his parents just to get him out of a jail cell. He wasn't arrested, but might as well have been. It was awful!! Have an attorney go on his behalf or be prepared to pay the arrears before you leave the state. Good luck.

Chel Bell's picture

I cannot believe this is happening, We had an attorney that already sucked 6,000 from me and we still owe 4'000, because of all this. He is on our forever growing list of people to pay. We cannot afford another attorney for this crap,our last one wants nothing to do with us, just the $$$ we owe him, and for what??? Time to fly, I guess. I'v had it. Chel

_Jess_'s picture

File a motion to change the date, explain the reason he can't be there.

You can do this even without a lawyer. Just type it up and mail it to the court. Call the clerk and ask about procedures for filing motions. Then file it...call it a "Motion for a Continuance."

Just an idea. You really SHOULD get a lawyer though, I know it sucks and costs so much....but that's the system.

TheSaneOne's picture

I would file a Motion for continuance, pay the child support through the state if you don't already and mail a good faith payment with it. Best to just try and catch up the arrears and file a modification - u can do this on your own also- research -
You might can apply for a modification before arrears are caught up but I doubt it. go to the father's rights groups - some attys might volunteer their time.

Sasha's picture

Consider a telephonic appearance. Courts do it all the time when one party cannot be there personally. I once had a patient who was supposed to appear in court for a custody issue but wound up in the hospital instead. One of our social workers helped set up a telephone appearance. He won, by the way.

Four years is a long time to wait to file for a modification. Anything can happen during that time frame. You can modify anytime there has been a significant change in circumstance. Doesn't guarantee that you will get it but asking doesn't cost a thing. A lot of these things you can do pro se, the trick is to educate yourself on the process before going in.

Chel Bell's picture

Thank u all so much, trying to think a little clearer today, We did ask for a telephonic app. , and they said no yesterday, but when we call the enforcement office today we will try requesting it again. I do agree with "the sane one"'s post as in to draw this out w/ a continuance (BM did that a half a dozen times w/ us) and make payments as much as possible and file for a modification. There has been alot of changes as of us moving up here.I don't know if we will get it either, but how can they get "blood from a stone" we can only give what we can. My mental health has suffered so much because of this stuff....I commited myself into the hospital a month ago, I wanted to end it all....SHE, and the hell we go through helped in pushing me over the edge. Now I'm on meds. , and have a a counslor visit me weekly.I have alot of things to work through, but I was never this bad until this stuff started. I cannot imagine if my DH, was ever put up in jail what would happen. We have a 15 month old son together that needs us both a 100% I will try everything and anything thats sugggested. thatk u all again for your support. Chel.