So, last Sunday was Mother's Day and although I have been a full time mother to two children that are not mine for 3 years, this was my first Mother's Day. You're all going to melt. I did.

So, last Wednesday SS10 comes in from school all excited. He says, "S... I know Nana is on her way to pick me up but I just gotta tell you something. So, you know your job with the Sea Turtles? Well, this year, I'm making YOU a Mother's Day card. It is going to be this big (insert cute little boy using hands to show size) and has all to do with that! I'm not going to tell you all of it but I just can't wait. I think you're going to love it." I said, "I always love everything you make me buddy, so I know I will love it. Especially since you're thinking of me for Mother's Day. That makes me so happy, you don't even know how bad I needed that." He says, "This year, I'm not doing ANYTHING for momma 'cause she don't deserve it." That was like a knife through the heart to hear him say, but I have been hearing that when he is at his maternal and paternal g'parents' houses he has been very vocal lately about his feelings towards BM and I can't blame him for those feelings. I responded with, "Well, baby, I hate that I can't argue with you on that but just remember what I told you when you asked to talk when she was in jail. I told you then and I am going to tell you again, you are absolutely entitled to your feelings and you need to communicate how you feel, but just don't ever give up on her. If you give up hoping that some day she will change, she will have no reason to do it. But I stand behind you 100% if that is how you would like to deal with your feelings towards her." He said, "Yes ma'am. I love you S. Thanks for doing all you do." And all of a sudden, all of the hurt I go through here is so worth it again.

I probably haven't posted since the change between he and I. His attitude toward life really seemed to drastically turn around right before spring break and has only continued to get so much better since then. But I think what really solidified the notion that I am not the opposition, yet somebody who genuinely loves him and cares about him, came shortly after spring break. I have always had a sneaking suspicion as to whether or not his teacher was bullying him (he is a very energetic and talkative child and needs a lot of help to stay focused) but chocked it up to she was probably telling the truth because school was not, by any means, the only place he was getting in trouble. But then when his attitude changed outside of school and I had heard from people who work at his school that they, too, had seen the change and the negative reports kept coming from the teacher, two and two started equaling four finally. She was accusing him of things he didn't even do. Well, there was an incident in science where they were learning about household cleaners and were supposed to be wafting them to smell them without their faces anywhere near the substance. He was on his knees on his chair because he is short and couldn't see very well (which he was wrong for doing and he got the lecture he should have gotten for that) and another little boy was bent over smelling the substance with his face near it. Another boy was sweeping and tripped, fell into SS, who hit heads with the kid smelling the substance, and the kid got the substance in his face. The teacher wrote home "SS shoved another student's head into harmful chemicals". She put him in OCS for the rest of the day, told him he would not be allowed to participate in science experiments for the rest of the week, and would be in the office for fun Friday. The other two boys, were told right in front of him, "This is why we need to be more careful, go play." So, I told him when he got home that for the day, he was not in trouble and that I would decide if he needed to be punished after hearing the teacher's side of the story. Well, the next day I got through to the teacher and when I was asking her questions she was trying to beat around the bush and I could tell she knew she was wrong. I told her he would not be excluded from anything, and that a lecture about the correct way to sit on his chair and a time out for not doing so was all that was called for and that if I heard from him that he received any more punishment from this incident or any extreme punishment for incidents that don't call for it, I would be speaking to the principal. I guess as soon as she got back to her classroom, she apologized to SS and has been being very nice to him and fair from that point on. He thanked me a few days later for sticking up for him. He told me, "I'm not scared to go to class anymore 'cause she's treating me like all the other kids now." I explained to him that right is right, wrong is wrong, no matter who is doing the deed. And if they are doing wrong, it needs to be addressed. I apologized that I let so many things go unnoticed but also explained that if he were not being so bad everywhere else, I wouldn't have been able to believe her. I got my very first "I love you." and real hug from him that day. I think that really opened his eyes and I'm so glad that he finally sees me as what I am. Just a person who loves a kid and is taking up his mom's slack because I can't stand to see him not have a mother-figure in his life. He has been super lovey to me ever since, always wants to be around me now, and tells me every day how much he loves me. His cousin told me that they were playing and he said "J (BM) is not my mom. S is. She's the one who is always there for me and does everything for me." I think I have finally earned the little guy's trust and respect. That is the best feeling in the world.