BM is allowed to call SS 1 time per day, at a reasonable hour on HIS phone. If he doesn't answer, we are not required to make sure he calls her back.

She is allowed to text him within a reasonable margin, if he doesn't respond, we are not responsible for making sure he does.

Basically the judge told BM that we have been MORE than accommodating to her during this time in her life. And that he probably would have discontinued contact with her long before we did. That she has put SS through way too much stress and he needs the chance to be a kid. He did get on DH a little bit about not bringing this to the courts sooner, but once DH said that he didn't want to drag SS through the system if she wasn't even bothering to attempt to see him, he said he understood.

Now... BM has to show proof of completion of minimum 60 out patient rehab to even consider revisiting this agreement.

BM is allowed supervised visits at OUR discretion. If either DH or I (yes he listed me by name because I am currently SS's primary caretaker) feel that it is not in SS's best interest to see BM at any given request, we are able to deny her request. And SS not wanting to see her is sufficient enough. We do not have to force him. If he does, and we feel it is ok, BM can visit with him for 1 hour 3 times a week, with her dad supervising. Her dad completely agreed to this. Apparently BM thought telling her dad to come support her would be in her favor. He infact told the judge that SS is best off with DH and I, and that we have done a great job in balancing what SS NEEDS to know and what we WOULD LOVE to tell him about BM.

The judge commended us for helping SS maintain relationships with BM's family. BM had no idea that I had gotten SS in touch with her brother, as well as her grandfather (his great grandfather) to make sure that they can talk and see each other. Along with of course her dad and stepmom and her mom. They have seen him more in the past year that we have had SS than they did in the several years before that combined. DH in turn passed the credit along to me. Told the court that the accolades belong to his wife, she is the peacekeeper in the family.

Anyways, BM has to complete her rehab at her own expense of course (she will get her medical to cover it) and SS has to be ready to see her and does NOT have to keep in contact with her. DH and I (yes me included) have physical and legal custody. She also has to get and hold a job along with staying clean before he will consider giving her any kind of custody, he has to have his own room where ever she is living and that doesn't mean sleep in her bed and her on the couch. He has to have his OWN SPACE. But "we can cross that bridge when we get there, first you go get clean". We don't need her permission for ANYTHING now. When we go back (whenever that might be) we will have to bring SS. The judge wants to talk to him.

We did bring print outs of emails and text messages. Not only to DH and I, but also between BM and SS. The judge read them all. And basically told BM that she was selfish and had no concept of sacrificing for her child. He told DH and I that we are doing a fine job raising him and not to change a thing.

So much was said, but it was all so easy for us. BM was crying of course. And looked like she got hit by a truck.

Done deal.